The Bus Stops Here: Drafting with Hindsight

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Have you ever just looked at your roster and asked, “Where did I go wrong? Did I really pick that loser? What was I thinking?!”

Well … this writer has on many occasions, and I know many of us are feeling this way after the awkward start of the 2004 NFL season. Houston beating Miami? McNabb, LT2, Harrison not performing up to their first round pick status? Who would’ve thought this was possible? Not I. But now, like many, I am looking at the worst start my team has ever had. 0-2. Pathetic. So I began to think back on my picks and came to realize that I would’ve done something differently had I known … but hindsight is 20/20, my friends, and there is nothing we can do about it. Or is there?

Now, I’m not saying that your ever-loving, shortbus driving, shameful compadre has invented a time machine or anything of that nature. But I have found a loophole my friends, a way to go back and try to draft a team without the underperformers. A team without the Bostons, Porters (both Jerry, out with a hernia and Joey, recovering from gunshot wounds), and the “Top Ranked Tight-Ends”. I checked with a certain fantasy football provider and have joined a late draft to put my newly acquired knowledge to the test. My draft picks are now based on actual performance to date, and not projected scorings. I can now look at box scores and say, “Hey! This Priest Holmes guy looks good!! He should be a #1 pick!”

This is my tale. One of pain. One of shame. One of hopeful victory. I am going back to do it all again, and I am bringing the Cafe faithful along with me. For any of you who are thinking as I was, let this be a lesson in life. You don’t always get what you want. Unless of course you’re rich, your parents are rich, you have a trust fund, or you just happen to be one extremely lucky individual. In which case, you can stop reading, and begin writing out a check for a large some of money to Slowkidz, c/o Fantasy Football Cafe … but until that check has cleared, I’ll be sitting here giving advice to all.

My late team has been drafted, and now I would like to share with you the comparisons between preseason drafting and in-season drafting. Keep in mind that both are twelve-team leagues, all of which would probably prefer to remain anonymous… But as I stated before, I have no shame. And here it goes…

Now … which team would you rather have? That is the question that I am asking myself right now. Knowing what I know now, I’d say the Late Start Team. But that’s just because they are scoring like crazy, and had I had this team to start the season off, I wouldn’t be 0-2 right now. But I still have that warm, cozy spot down in the cockles for the Preseason Team. Maybe I’m just being more optimistic and hopeful that the current down streak of McNabb and LT2 will change shortly. Maybe it’s because I know that they should be performing much, much higher than their current levels of play. Maybe it’s because I ride the shortbus. Who really knows? All I know is that I now have a way to feel better about myself when the next loss comes to town. And it’s all because I found a loophole in the Fantasy Football Realm. I may not win prizes. I may not be the talk of the town. But hopefully … hopefully I can hold on to what little self-esteem I have and try to beat the snot out of the guy who picked up McNabb, LT2 and Boston…

 
Also known as your friendly neighborhood shortbus-driving Slowkidz, Tony spends most of his day goofing off at work and checking boxscores. He spends his off time trying to teach his one-month-old daughter not to cry when the Browns are on TV, but maybe cheer instead…