Week 2 NFL Barometer

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Week 1, as always, left everyone scratching their heads at some of the outcomes. Seattle and New England were taken to the wire in games that on paper looked like easy wins. Carolina, a trendy preseason Super Bowl pick, was upset at home as Steve Smith sat out with two injured hamstrings. If you like defense, we had that too as Baltimore, Chicago, and San Diego all pitched shutouts. There was also the “Manning Bowl.”

As we head toward Week 2, sixteen teams try to build on their season opening successes, while sixteen others try to avoid going 0-2.

Recently, we asked seven Cafe members to rank all 32 NFL teams from first to worst after Week 1 of the 2006 season. The average number for each team based on their submissions was calculated and the teams were ranked accordingly (to increase consistency, the highest and the lowest values for each team were disregarded).

Rank	Change	TEAM	Avg Rank	d a n l	p o r t i s	G S O E	S N S	A l k	j a y	M S B
1 (1)		Indianapolis	1.4	1	2	3	1	1	2	1
Indy stepped up to the plate and came up with a big win and they remain atop the rankings thanks in part to their 6′5”, 230-pound quarterback with a laser rocket arm.
2 (2)		Pittsburgh	2.4	5	1	2	3	4	1	2
Playing without Big Ben, the Steelers showed why they are one of the most complete teams in the league. Report: Coach Bill Cowher suing Joey Porter for sexual harassment.
3 (5)		Cincinnati	2.8	2	3	1	4	3	3	3
In nasty conditions, the offense played conservatively, but the defense capitalized on Kansas City’s protection issues. They came away with seven sacks. In comparison, they only had twenty-eight all of last season. Fantasy players really wish “TJ Whosyourmomma” would get over this heel issue.
4 (4)		Seattle	4.8	13	5	9	2	2	4	4
Whew, they edged out a squeaker against the Lions. I repeat, the Lions.
5 (11)		Jacksonville	6.0	6	7	6	5	7	5	6
The Jags came away with a big win over Dallas last week, as the defense made Drew Bledsoe look like a rookie. Byron Leftwich must have grown tired of the fat jokes. He shed some weight in the off season to become more mobile and is now proud to say he can shop in the “husky” section.
6 (7)		Chicago	6.8	3	10	5	7	8	6	8
It was ugly when they won big against Green Bay. The good news: Rex Grossman threw for a career high 262 yards on Sunday. The bad news: He’s three games away from breaking his total for most games played in a season.
7 (3)		Carolina	9.8	8	4	18	15	5	8	13
They were wrecked by the Falcons as they didn’t get a first down until well after halftime. They must not call Steve Smith “Superman” for nothing. If they don’t turn their play around soon, their dreams of reaching the Super Bowl are about as realistic as my dreams of dating Jessica Alba.
8 (9)		NY Giants	9.8	4	11	13	12	6	10	10
The Giants gave the Colts a good game, and despite the loss they moved up in the rankings this week. Eli is surely dejected about losing to Peyton, but he has to be pleased with his recent Emmy nomination for his part in their commercials.
9 (16)		San Diego	9.8	10	6	4	10	15	11	12
Dear San Diego: Congratulations! You destroyed the Raiders. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.
10 (18)		Atlanta	10.0	14	15	11	9	9	7	5
They came out like gangbusters and really took it to Carolina. With the improved defense and dangerous rushing attack, they could be a force this year. Mike Vick was in a pretty cool commercial recently where he and some other NFL players are on some high school team. Question: Is it a bad sign when they trust LaDainian Tomlinson to throw the ball more than they trust Vick?
11 (14)		Baltimore	10.0	18	12	8	8	10	9	11
Bringing up memories of 2000, the Ravens defense looked like their old selves as they held Caddy and the Bucs to an embarrassing 26 yards rushing. We also witnessed the slowest interception return in league history.
12 (12)		New England	10.8	11	9	14	6	11	16	9
They sure didn’t look like a team who has won three Super Bowls this decade on Sunday. Deion Branch had to be smiling as the Patriots trailed 17-7 heading in to halftime against the Bills.
13 (14)		Philadelphia	11.4	15	13	7	11	13	13	7
Philly beat the Texans 24-10 as Donovan McNabb looked like his old self after throwing 3 TD passes. The Eagles were very excited about the game new receiver Donte Stallworth’s had on Sunday, but not nearly as excited as Donte is about being in the Chunky Soup commercials.
14 (6)		Denver	12.2	9	8	12	14	14	12	15
Jake Plummer’s leash just got a few feet shorter as he threw three interceptions and completed only half of his passes. A university conducted survey confirms that Jake’s poor performance was a direct correlation to him shaving off his mustache.
15 (10)		Dallas	13.0	7	18	10	13	12	14	16
The Cowboys didn’t start the year off as they had hoped. They fell to the Jags 24-17. Drew Bledsoe played terribly, and TO didn’t slam him in interviews. What are they putting in the water down in Dallas?
16 (8)		Miami	15.2	12	17	16	17	14	15	14
Miami couldn’t overcome Daunte’s untimely interceptions as they fell to the Steelers 28-17. Report: All 11 members of the Dolphin defense own Heath Miller in their fantasy league.
17 (17)		St. Louis	18.0	17	19	15	19	22	17	18
Sunday was only the third time in 12 games that St. Louis scored less than 20 points and won. Report: All 11 members of the Ram defense were facing Jake Plummer in their fantasy league last week.
18 (19)		Kansas City	18.2	16	16	22	16	18	22	19
We are all hoping for a full recovery for Trent, but even a healthy Trent isn’t going to fix their offensive line issues.
19 (22)		Minnesota	19.2	21	22	20	18	17	20	17
Brad Johnson looked more like twenty-eight than thirty-eight, as he torched the Redskins on third down all night long. New Coach Brad Childress has to pleased with their victory on Monday Night Football. He probably isn’t as pleased with being mistaken for Monday Night Football announcer, Tony Kornheiser.
20 (13)		Tampa Bay	19.6	19	14	19	22	20	18	24
They got steamrolled by the Ravens on Sunday. The Bucs played so poorly that Coach Gruden apologized to the fans for their performance. It’s probably a safe bet he wasn’t as jovial with his players after the game.
21 (21)		Washington	20.2	22	21	17	25	16	21	20
The Redskins look like they are still looking for chemistry between their new players and coaches. Rumor: Coach Gibbs, a NASCAR team owner, is considering bringing in his driver Tony Stewart for a tryout at defensive tackle. For you non-NASCAR fans, Tony has what some might refer to as a “weight problem.”
22 (20)		Arizona	20.4	20	20	23	20	19	19	23
The offense scored 34 points. Good. The defense gave up 27 points… to the 49ers. Not so good. They get a real test this week as they travel to face the Seahawks and Shaun Alexander who piled up 310 yards and 6 TDs in two games against the Cardinals last year.
23 (23)		New Orleans	23.0	23	23	21	24	24	23	22
The “Reggie Bush Era” got off on the right foot as the Saints came into Cleveland and took their first step in putting the 2005 season behind them. Report: Reggie Bush disappointed after taking Larry Johnson over himself.
24 (25)		Detroit	23.6	28	26	24	23	21	24	21
They really gave Seattle a scare last week and look like they could be an improved team this year. In typical Lions fashion, they came up short but gave their fans just enough hope to come back next week. But what would make Roy Williams call out the Bears? Yes, good idea Roy, like Urlacher and the Bears’ defense needs bulletin board material.
25 (26)		Buffalo	24.6	24	25	27	21	23	26	25
Is Buffalo that good? Or were the Patriots that bad on Sunday?
26 (24)		Cleveland	26.4	27	24	29	26	28	25	26
Too bad they didn’t realize they were playing a football game until halftime. They had managed only 30 yards heading in to the locker room. Thanks to a nice game Sunday, tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. has now improved his career averages to 4 catches, 37 yards, and 1 game per season for the Cleveland Browns.
27 (31)		NY Jets	26.8	25	27	26	27	27	27	27
The Jets played Tennessee Sunday. I didn’t watch the game myself, but they won. All eighteen witnesses confirmed it.
28 (29)		Tennessee	28.0	26	28	28	28	25	30	30
Over/Under on Vince starting officially set at 6 games. Travis Henry gets my vote for most overrated waiver wire pickup this week.
29 (30)		Houston	28.6	29	31	25	31	26	28	29
Nothing has changed; David Carr snaps the ball and proceeds to run for his life. He was sacked 5 times on Sunday. Will we witness a Samkon Gado revolution in Houston?
30 (32)		San Francisco	29.4	30	32	30	29	29	29	28
They played a reasonably good game against the Cardinals on Sunday. What a performance by Alex Smith, he has already tied his season total of touchdown passes from last season bringing him to a grand total of one!
31 (28)		Oakland	31.0	31	29	32	30	31	31	32
The Raiders are in total disarray. They were slaughtered by the Chargers 27-0. Randy is missing the Metrodome right about now. Report: Joey Porter seen cheering and celebrating as Aaron Brooks was sacked repeatedly Monday night. No joke here folks, that one is actually true and probably funnier than anything I’ve written so far.
32 (27)		Green Bay	31.2	32	30	31	32	30	32	31
The Packers look like they’re in for a long season after getting shut out by the Bears. I don’t think any of us are looking forward to Brett being pulled if/when they fall out of contention.

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