HumorAugust 11, 2007

Post to Twitter

Choosing the Proper Fantasy Football Team Name

By Michael Gogel

When you get those few chances in your lifetime to name something, you want to make the best of it. You want to look back and realize that your decision was well thought out and it’s something you can be proud of. Your fantasy football team is one of those times. It’s your turn to be as creative as humanly possible to come away with what a champion will sound like.

There are many schools of thought as to what and how to name your fantasy football team. Some people fall into several categories which is fine. Just remember, your team name ultimately speaks about you. It speaks of who you are and what your fellow competitors can expect from you throughout the season. Because trust me, no one is going to be scared or intimidated facing off against you if your name isn’t up to par.

So how do you go about choosing a name? Hopefully these tips will help you before the season gets into full swing. First, here are some subjects that certain fantasy team names fall under.

Intended Irony– This is when you name your team a phrase or word that is either ironic or funny to say in context.

Strengths – Can be used in a repulsive manner to offend third parties as well as embarrass other teams from even mentioning it.

Weaknesses – Can be too clever for its own good. Funny the first time, yet increasingly unfunny each time you say or think it.

Examples – With Another Man’s Nuts (as in “This week I’m playing With Another Man’s Nuts”), My Lil’ Ponies, The Ya-Ya Sisterhood.


Pop Culture Surprise – This is when you refer to a part of or line to a motion picture within the title of your team name. Also works for television and music and anything else within the realm of pop culture.

Strengths – Can spark conversation with other competitors and offers a bonding experience for those who identify the reference. It can also provide ample proof that you are up on current entertainment events. Bonus points if you can throw a football themed pop culture reference in there as well.

Weaknesses – If it’s too obscure, it may fly over the heads of most individuals and leave you seeming snobbish and uppity.

Examples – The Runnin’ McLovin’s, The El Guapos, The Fighting Armadillos , Left Side: Strong Side.


Shock Value – These are mainly used as a random string of words that are meant to cause uncomfortable laughter amongst all players. Helps if you’re extremely creative and bonus points for originality. Current events can be used as a good source of material.

Strengths – The possibilities are limitless and the concept of “outdoing each other” is released within the league. Also fantastic to see how far you can take it before the engraving company refuses to put your latest team name on the trophy or the company that hosts your league kicks you off for vulgarity reasons.

Weaknesses – If you have any pansies in your league, you will most likely feel you are being scolded by your parents when blurting it out or explaining its meaning to the group during the draft. Also if it bombs… it’s real hard to recover from.

Examples – Van With No Windows, Pitbull Swim Team, Tainted Meat Brigade.


Team Name Do’s and Don’ts

Do = Put some thought into your team name. No one wants to roll into draft day with “Mike’s Team” looming in your face. This will show everyone that you have the creativity of a horseshoe crab.

Don’t = Don’t disrespect another team with your team name. Teams like “Sam is a Loser”, “Frank’s Bad Breath”, or “I Hear Joe’s Mom is Sick” really doesn’t fly and will cost you big time come trade negotiations… fantasy grudges always seem to last forever.

Do = Invent words. Made up words are always fun to read and even more fun to say. Words like “Waiver Wirifics”, “Draftafornication”, etc.

Don’t = Don’t ever wear an article of clothing with your team name on it… for the love of all things sacred and true. It’s bad enough we devout a good portion of our time managing our teams of imaginary football players… we don’t have to revel in it.


Picking a name is tough. You want to elicit fear, but also excitement and humor. A tough choice indeed. Now I don’t consider myself an expert on the matter, but like any great pioneer, I would really just like to help. So I turn to the community at hand and assemble our efforts. Every year countless fantasy football teams go by the wayside without the proper care and consideration for its moniker. I implore you, click the link below, go the forums and send me your name ideas, your naming concerns, and perhaps some team names that you’ve come across over the years that you felt were perfect in every way. Let’s share them all together so on draft day when our official team name is revealed, we can hold our heads high knowing that we may have a sub-par draft. We may mispronounce T.J. Hoshamazoud or whatever his name is (“championship!”), but one thing is for sure… we have the best team name in the league and it’s all thanks to the folks at

Vive el Fantasy Football!

Mike Gogel is a jerk, a crazy person, and a Libra. His love/hate relationship with fantasy football is similar to that of a really hot girl who goes out with a tool (Mike, of course, being the really hot girl). Fantasy Football told him it loved him once, he concurred, and now it's allowed to ignore him and generally treat him like dirt. Mike went to Penn State University and much like every other person you'll ever meet from Penn State, he believes that his football team is the greatest tradition ever in the history of sports and nothing you can say will change his mind. You can catch up with Mike in the Cafe's forums where he posts under the name of pirater4u.
Rate this article: DreadfulNot goodFairGoodVery good (86 votes, average: 3.87 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Questions or comments for Michael? Post them in the Cafe Forums!

Want to write for the Cafe? Check out the Cafe's Pencil & Paper section!

Post to Twitter

Related Cafe Articles

• Other articles by Michael Gogel

No related articles.