2009 NFL Barometer: Week 5

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If you haven’t looked at this week’s schedule, don’t. I’m serious. Set your fantasy lineups, and then walk away until Monday. Why? Because this slate of upcoming games is brutal. Are you anxious for the Giants-Raiders game? What about the Browns-Bills slugfest? Does the Eagles-Bucs game tickle your fancy? All we football fans have to be eager for is a New England-Denver game at Invesco Field and maybe Cincinnati-Baltimore and Atlanta-San Francisco. That’s what it’s come to people — the Bengals, Falcons and 49ers make up half the lineup of the most interesting games of Week 5. When’s baseball season? (I kid.)

As always, thanks to our rankers. You can find their names in the legend below. Until next week, enjoy!

Rank	Change	TEAM	Avg Rank	D Z	D N	S S	B C	U H
1		New York Giants (4-0)	1.4	1	1	3	1	1
Last week: Win 27-16 at KC. Manning Steamroller keeps rolling along. 2006 Champs vs. 2007 Champs Super Bowl?
2		Indianapolis Colts (4-0)	2	2	2	2	2	2
Last week: Win 24-17 vs. SEA. Manning Steamroller keeps — wait, I just used that one. Tough game against 0-4 Titans next.
3		New Orleans Saints (4-0)	2.6	3	3	1	3	3
Last week: Win 24-10 vs. NYJ. Drew Brees has been a fantasy ho-hum last two weeks, yet the Saints cruise. How bout the D?
4		Minnesota Vikings (4-0)	4	4	4	4	4	4
Last week: Win 30-23 vs. GB. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Adrian Peterson Brett Favre Brett Favre.
5		New England Patriots (3-1)	6	5	8	7	5	5
Last week: Win 27-21 vs. BAL. Word that Tom Brady almost called off the wedding after tripping over Gisele’s shoes is untrue.
6		Baltimore Ravens (3-1)	6	6	5	6	7	6
Last week: Loss 21-27 at NE. If you don’t think this Ravens team is chomping at the bit to get a Brady rematch in January …
7		New York Jets (3-1)	7.8	10	6	5	8	10
Last week: Loss 10-24 at NO. With all the hoopla, remember that the Jets are an up-and-coming, and not an elite, team.
8		San Francisco 49ers (3-1)	9.4	7	11	8	10	11
Last week: Win 35-0 vs. STL. Great teams throttle bad teams. Congrats to anyone that picked up the Niners D last week.
9		Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)	9.4	9	7	9	14	8
Last week: Win 38-28 vs. SD. Rashard Mendenhall, meet Destiny. Destiny, this is Rashard Mendenhall. It’s about time.
10		Denver Broncos (4-0)	9.8	8	10	10	9	12
Last week: Win 17-10 vs. DAL. Proved themselves against the Cowboys. Next up, the Tom Babies, er, Bradies.
11		Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)	10.4	12	9	11	11	9
Last week: Bye. Andy Reid has a great track record coming off the bye, and his opponent (TB) ensures another win here.
12		Atlanta Falcons (2-1)	10.8	11	12	12	6	13
Last week: Bye. Matty Ice is the best QB nickname of our generation, easily besting the little-thought Big Ben. Comments?
13		Chicago Bears (3-1)	12.2	13	15	14	12	7
Last week: Win 48-24 vs. DET. Welcome back to fantasy football, Matt Forte. Just in time for many of us.
14		Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)	14.2	14	17	13	13	14
Last week: Win 23-20 at CLE (OT). I don’t think you should get a full win when it takes five quarters to beat the Browns.
15		San Diego Chargers (2-2)	15.6	17	14	15	16	16
Last week: Loss 28-38 at PIT. Man, this defense looks bad. Where’s Shawne Merriman? Start your RBs against them.
16		Green Bay Packers (2-2)	16.4	15	16	16	18	17
Last week: Loss 23-30 at MIN. I went in and tried out for left tackle on Tuesday. They said they’d hang on to my number.
17		Dallas Cowboys (2-2)	16.4	18	13	17	19	15
Last week: Loss 10-17 at DEN. Have we agreed that Tony Romo isn’t that good? Where’s the moxie in big games?
18		Houston Texans (2-2)	18.6	16	21	19	17	20
Last week: Win 29-6 vs. OAK. Obliterated the Raiders. I think this team will battle the Steelers for a Wild Card spot.
19		Arizona Cardinals (1-2)	19.2	19	18	21	20	18
Last week: Bye. Big game afor both teams. Houston needs a big road win, the Cardinals need any kind of big win.
20		Jacksonville Jaguars (2-2)	19.4	20	25	18	15	19
Last week: Win 37-17 vs. TEN. Are the Jaguars better than this? Great offensive performance so far. Another win, they rise.
21		Miami Dolphins (1-3)	20.6	21	19	20	21	22
Last week: Win 38-10 vs. BUF. Did you know the Dolphins run this offensive package called the Wildcat? I know, right?
22		Carolina Panthers (0-3)	22.8	24	20	25	24	21
Last week: Bye. Cake schedule coming up (WAS, TB, BUF). A loss in any and we know this team isn’t very good.
23		Seattle Seahawks (1-3)	23.2	22	24	23	23	24
Last week: Loss 17-34 at IND. Who would have predicted the Seneca Wallace era would fail? Wait, where are you going?
24		Washington Redskins (2-2)	24	25	23	22	25	25
Last week: Win 16-13 vs. TB. WAS two wins are both at home by a combined five points over TB and STL. I say they’re 0-7.
25		Tennessee Titans (0-4)	24	23	22	24	28	23
Last week: Loss 17-37 at JAC. We’re one more loss away from the Vince Young era. TEN fans don’t know if that’s good or bad.
26		Buffalo Bills (1-3)	25.4	26	26	27	22	26
Last week: Loss 10-38 at MIA. Maybe you shouldn’t fire your OC right before the season. I give Jauron two more games.
27		Detroit Lions (1-3)	26.8	27	27	26	27	27
Last week: Loss 24-48 at CHI. These Lions are fiesty. Unfortunately, the Culpepper Lions are pretty tame.
28		Oakland Raiders (1-3)	29	31	28	30	26	30
Last week: Loss 6-29 at HOU. New Raiders promotion: Season ticket holders get to punch Tom Cable and Al Davis.
29		Kansas City Chiefs (0-4)	29	30	29	28	30	28
Last week: Loss 27-16 vs. NYG. I think the Chiefs take the rematch with Oakland. That just might be their only win, though.
30		Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-4)	29.4	28	30	29	31	29
Last week: Loss 13-16 vs. WAS. FS Tanard Jackson is returning from suspension this week, so everything will now be O.K.
31		Cleveland Browns (0-4)	30.4	29	31	31	29	32
Last week: Loss 20-23 vs. CIN (OT). I thought they’d be higher after that last loss. I’m predicting a win in Buffalo.
32		St. Louis Rams (0-4)	31.8	32	32	32	32	31
Last week: Loss 0-35 at SF. Spags’ defense only gave up 14 of the 35 — with that offense, he should teach ‘em tackling.

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