RankingsOctober 8, 2009

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2009 NFL Barometer: Week 5

By R.J. White

Dallas Cowboys v Denver Broncos

If you haven’t looked at this week’s schedule, don’t. I’m serious. Set your fantasy lineups, and then walk away until Monday. Why? Because this slate of upcoming games is brutal. Are you anxious for the Giants-Raiders game? What about the Browns-Bills slugfest? Does the Eagles-Bucs game tickle your fancy? All we football fans have to be eager for is a New England-Denver game at Invesco Field and maybe Cincinnati-Baltimore and Atlanta-San Francisco. That’s what it’s come to people — the Bengals, Falcons and 49ers make up half the lineup of the most interesting games of Week 5. When’s baseball season? (I kid.)

As always, thanks to our rankers. You can find their names in the legend below. Until next week, enjoy!

RankChangeTEAMAvg RankD
1upNew York Giants (4-0)1.411311
Last week: Win 27-16 at KC. Manning Steamroller keeps rolling along. 2006 Champs vs. 2007 Champs Super Bowl?
2upIndianapolis Colts (4-0)222222
Last week: Win 24-17 vs. SEA. Manning Steamroller keeps — wait, I just used that one. Tough game against 0-4 Titans next.
3upNew Orleans Saints (4-0)2.633133
Last week: Win 24-10 vs. NYJ. Drew Brees has been a fantasy ho-hum last two weeks, yet the Saints cruise. How bout the D?
4upMinnesota Vikings (4-0)444444
Last week: Win 30-23 vs. GB. Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Adrian Peterson Brett Favre Brett Favre.
5upNew England Patriots (3-1)658755
Last week: Win 27-21 vs. BAL. Word that Tom Brady almost called off the wedding after tripping over Gisele’s shoes is untrue.
6upBaltimore Ravens (3-1)665676
Last week: Loss 21-27 at NE. If you don’t think this Ravens team is chomping at the bit to get a Brady rematch in January …
7upNew York Jets (3-1)7.81065810
Last week: Loss 10-24 at NO. With all the hoopla, remember that the Jets are an up-and-coming, and not an elite, team.
8upSan Francisco 49ers (3-1)9.471181011
Last week: Win 35-0 vs. STL. Great teams throttle bad teams. Congrats to anyone that picked up the Niners D last week.
9upPittsburgh Steelers (2-2)9.4979148
Last week: Win 38-28 vs. SD. Rashard Mendenhall, meet Destiny. Destiny, this is Rashard Mendenhall. It’s about time.
10upDenver Broncos (4-0)9.881010912
Last week: Win 17-10 vs. DAL. Proved themselves against the Cowboys. Next up, the Tom Babies, er, Bradies.
11upPhiladelphia Eagles (2-1)10.412911119
Last week: Bye. Andy Reid has a great track record coming off the bye, and his opponent (TB) ensures another win here.
12upAtlanta Falcons (2-1)10.8111212613
Last week: Bye. Matty Ice is the best QB nickname of our generation, easily besting the little-thought Big Ben. Comments?
13upChicago Bears (3-1)12.2131514127
Last week: Win 48-24 vs. DET. Welcome back to fantasy football, Matt Forte. Just in time for many of us.
14upCincinnati Bengals (3-1)14.21417131314
Last week: Win 23-20 at CLE (OT). I don’t think you should get a full win when it takes five quarters to beat the Browns.
15upSan Diego Chargers (2-2)15.61714151616
Last week: Loss 28-38 at PIT. Man, this defense looks bad. Where’s Shawne Merriman? Start your RBs against them.
16upGreen Bay Packers (2-2)16.41516161817
Last week: Loss 23-30 at MIN. I went in and tried out for left tackle on Tuesday. They said they’d hang on to my number.
17upDallas Cowboys (2-2)16.41813171915
Last week: Loss 10-17 at DEN. Have we agreed that Tony Romo isn’t that good? Where’s the moxie in big games?
18upHouston Texans (2-2)18.61621191720
Last week: Win 29-6 vs. OAK. Obliterated the Raiders. I think this team will battle the Steelers for a Wild Card spot.
19upArizona Cardinals (1-2)19.21918212018
Last week: Bye. Big game afor both teams. Houston needs a big road win, the Cardinals need any kind of big win.
20upJacksonville Jaguars (2-2)19.42025181519
Last week: Win 37-17 vs. TEN. Are the Jaguars better than this? Great offensive performance so far. Another win, they rise.
21upMiami Dolphins (1-3)20.62119202122
Last week: Win 38-10 vs. BUF. Did you know the Dolphins run this offensive package called the Wildcat? I know, right?
22upCarolina Panthers (0-3)22.82420252421
Last week: Bye. Cake schedule coming up (WAS, TB, BUF). A loss in any and we know this team isn’t very good.
23upSeattle Seahawks (1-3)23.22224232324
Last week: Loss 17-34 at IND. Who would have predicted the Seneca Wallace era would fail? Wait, where are you going?
24upWashington Redskins (2-2)242523222525
Last week: Win 16-13 vs. TB. WAS two wins are both at home by a combined five points over TB and STL. I say they’re 0-7.
25upTennessee Titans (0-4)242322242823
Last week: Loss 17-37 at JAC. We’re one more loss away from the Vince Young era. TEN fans don’t know if that’s good or bad.
26upBuffalo Bills (1-3)25.42626272226
Last week: Loss 10-38 at MIA. Maybe you shouldn’t fire your OC right before the season. I give Jauron two more games.
27upDetroit Lions (1-3)26.82727262727
Last week: Loss 24-48 at CHI. These Lions are fiesty. Unfortunately, the Culpepper Lions are pretty tame.
28upOakland Raiders (1-3)293128302630
Last week: Loss 6-29 at HOU. New Raiders promotion: Season ticket holders get to punch Tom Cable and Al Davis.
29upKansas City Chiefs (0-4)293029283028
Last week: Loss 27-16 vs. NYG. I think the Chiefs take the rematch with Oakland. That just might be their only win, though.
30upTampa Bay Buccaneers (0-4)29.42830293129
Last week: Loss 13-16 vs. WAS. FS Tanard Jackson is returning from suspension this week, so everything will now be O.K.
31upCleveland Browns (0-4)30.42931312932
Last week: Loss 20-23 vs. CIN (OT). I thought they’d be higher after that last loss. I’m predicting a win in Buffalo.
32upSt. Louis Rams (0-4)31.83232323231
Last week: Loss 0-35 at SF. Spags’ defense only gave up 14 of the 35 — with that offense, he should teach ‘em tackling.



DZ = daullaz
DN = Dan Lambskin
SS = SameSongNDance
BC = 204BC
UH = utility-hook

R.J. White is a fantasy blogger at the sports site FanHouse. Check out his work both here and there, and feel free to talk to him in the forums, where he posts under the name daullaz.
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