Week 16: Back from Hiatus

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After a one-week break, the Barometer is back in full-force this week. Actually, just utility-hook joined me in ranking our teams this week, but his stick-to-it-iveness more than makes up for the low quantity of rankers this week. As we take a lap around the NFL, we’ll also take a sneak peek at each team’s Christmas wish list. Enjoy!

Rank	Change	TEAM	Avg Rank	D Z	U H
1		Indianapolis Colts (14-0)	1	1	1
Christmas wish: When Peyton Manning retires, he immediately becomes the offensive coordinator and coach-in-training.
2		New Orleans Saints (13-1)	2	2	2
Christmas wish: Another safe and uneventful year for New Orleans as they continue to rebuild the community.
3		San Diego Chargers (11-3)	3	3	3
Christmas wish: Philip Rivers’s success in December (what is he, like 18-0 now?) transfers into January.
4		Philadelphia Eagles (10-4)	4.5	4	5
Christmas wish: Santa gives coach Andy Reid a clock management guide for Christmas. Y’know, since he already got the extension.
5		Minnesota Vikings (11-3)	5	6	4
Christmas wish: Jasper Brinkley channels the spirit of E.J. Henderson for the rest of the year. Otherwise, the Vikings are sunk.
6		Dallas Cowboys (9-5)	6	5	7
Christmas wish: Santa, please don’t put new kicker Shaun Suisham in the same situation he was in against NO when with Washington.
7		Green Bay Packers (9-5)	7.5	7	8
Christmas wish: Please make Aaron Rodgers as good as Brett Favre. Wait, you’re saying he’s better? Who knew?
8		Arizona Cardinals (9-5)	8.5	8	9
Christmas wish: Father Christmas, please give Grandfather Time a few more years behind center. Also, don’t let Anquan go.
9		Cincinnati Bengals (9-5)	9	12	6
Christmas wish: Please give Chris Henry’s family love and peace throughout this season, the love and peace I hope Henry now has.
10		New England Patriots (9-5)	9.5	9	10
Christmas wish: Whatever happens, do not let Tom Brady get touched for the rest of the season, unless we’re down late and need the flag.
11		Denver Broncos (8-6)	11.5	10	13
Christmas wish: Please make the players we get from Chicago’s picks become All-Stars, rubbing the trade in their face even more.
12		New York Giants (8-6)	11.5	11	12
Christmas wish: Help Hakeem Nicks to continue his development into Plaxico Burress on the field, while keeping him from Plaxico off the field.
13		Baltimore Ravens (8-6)	12	13	11
Christmas wish: Send us a twenty-somethiing wide receiver to develop along with Ray Rice and Joe Flacco.
14		Pittsburgh Steelers (7-7)	14	14	14
Christmas wish: Bring Troy Polamalu back to us. Please Santa! We shouldn’t need 500 passing yards to win a game!
15		Tennessee Titans (7-7)	15.5	15	16
Christmas wish: 400 rushing yards for Chris Johnson these last two weeks. We don’t ask for much, besides the odd Miracle or two.
16		Jacksonville Jaguars (7-7)	16	17	15
Christmas wish: The first thing on our wish list is a pass rush. Don’t spend that money on a new QB, as David Garrard is actually good.
17		Miami Dolphins (7-7)	16.5	16	17
Christmas wish: Give us another wrinkle to the wildcat for 2010, and in 2011, and so on … I want the left tackle taking snaps at one point.
18		Houston Texans (7-7)	19	20	18
Christmas wish: Bring us a coach that won’t hype a running back for two weeks and then bench him after one drive.
19		New York Jets (7-7)	19	18	20
Christmas wish: We would really like a right arm that works for our QB. One that doesn’t throw bad passes all game.
20		Carolina Panthers (6-8)	20.5	19	22
Christmas wish: Jake Delhomme, CBS analyst in 2010. Wow, that has a great ring to it, doesn’t it Jake?
21		Atlanta Falcons (7-7)	21	23	19
Christmas wish: Let this Saints renaissance only be a one-and-done thing, like it’s been in the past. No dynasties please.
22		San Francisco 49ers (6-8)	21	21	21
Christmas wish: For a team without many holes, they sure aren’t that competitive. Maybe we could use a secondary?
23		Seattle Seahawks (5-9)	24	22	26
Christmas wish: A new, young franchise left tackle. And quarterback. And receiver. That’s not too much to ask, is it?
24		Chicago Bears (5-9)	24.5	26	23
Christmas wish: While your giving out left tackles, Santa, we could use a couple. Why don’t you bring us one of everything, just in case?
25		Buffalo Bills (5-9)	24.5	25	24
Christmas wish: A coach, a coach, my kingdom for a coach. What do we have to do to land Bill Cowher?
26		Washington Redskins (4-10)	25.5	24	27
Christmas wish: For Daniel Synder to really have turned a new leaf and for him to not meddle in Bruce Allen’s work.
27		Oakland Raiders (5-9)	26	27	25
Christmas wish: A franchise QB that doesn’t look like a lineman. One that can actually play QB in the NFL. (Don’t draft Tebow!)
28		Cleveland Browns (3-11)	28	28	28
Christmas wish: Eric Mangini to sign Jim Brown for the final two games, and for him to run for 300 yards against the Raiders.
29		Kansas City Chiefs (3-11)	29.5	30	29
Christmas wish: Santa, please turn some of these close losses into close wins. And Santa, turn these blowout losses into games against Detroit.
30		Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-12)	30	29	31
Christmas wish: Bring us Monte Kiffin back! This defense just isn’t cutting it, Santa. At the very least, deliver us Suh.
31		Detroit Lions (2-12)	30.5	31	30
Christmas wish: Two wins?!? Nope, we’re good. Don’t need anything else. To Detroit, this is a pretty good season.
32		St. Louis Rams (1-13)	32	32	32
Christmas wish: We’re the only team with one win. Please give us the No. 1 pick, so we can screw it up by bypassing Suh.