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Wisconsin Temperature Conversion Chart

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Wisconsin Temperature Conversion Chart

Postby CC » Sat Nov 13, 2004 9:47 pm

Wisconsin Temperature Conversion Chart

60 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Wisconsin people sunbathe.

50 above
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Wisconsin people plant gardens.

40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Wisconsin people drive with the windows down.

32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.

20 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Wisconsin people have the last cookout before it gets cold.

15 above
New York landlords finally turn on the heat.
Wisconsin people throw on a sweatshirt.

0 -
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Wisconsin people lick a flagpole.

20 below
People in Miami cease to exist.
Wisconsin people get out their winter coats.

40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
Wisconsin's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Wisconsin's Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Wisconsin people rent some videos.

100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsin people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

297 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Wisconsin cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Wisconsin people start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl.
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Postby MeShawn » Sat Nov 13, 2004 9:59 pm

Lol, funny stuff.

I feel a series of Viking-Packer jokes coming up ;-7
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Postby Flockers » Sat Nov 13, 2004 10:04 pm

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Minnesota, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite shore-line along the Great Lakes. The people from Minnesota are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human football team who will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them in Wisconsin."
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Postby portisfan24 » Sat Nov 13, 2004 10:16 pm

Flockers wrote:Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass and said "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Minnesota, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite shore-line along the Great Lakes. The people from Minnesota are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human football team who will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them in Wisconsin."



100 flocker points!
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Postby CC » Sat Nov 13, 2004 10:26 pm

I'm also going to give them super-human football team who will be admired and feared by all who come across them


You'd think a team like that could win a Superbowl once in a while.
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Postby no1cowboysfan » Sat Nov 13, 2004 10:29 pm

Here are the number of horrible Oklahoma/Texas jokes I have had to endure from my Texan mother, and Oklahoman mom of my best friend...

"Why doesn't Texas fall into the Gulf of Mexico?"
"Because Oklahoma sucks!"
(and to think I spawned from these people... :-P )

"What happens when an idiot from Oklahoma moves to Texas?"
"It raises the IQ of both states."
(...and this proves that Texas can't come up with anything better. :~( )

"Why is there a hole in the ceiling at Texas Stadium?"
"So God can watch his favorite team play."
(Then why didn't God help us beat Cincy? :-t )

That's all I can think of for now...
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Postby CC » Sat Nov 13, 2004 10:45 pm

I've got about a billion Viking jokes. I'll just use this one now though.

A Bears fan, a Buccaneers fan, a Packers fan, and a Vikings fan are each trying to prove that they're the most loyal to their team. They go to the edge of a cliff where the Bears fan yells,"This is for the Bears!" and jumps off. Next the Buccaneers fan yells,"This is for the Bucs!" and jumps off. Then, the Packers fan yells,"This is for the Packers!" and pushed the Vikings fan off.
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Postby Diablo13 » Sat Nov 13, 2004 11:09 pm

I grew up in Cali which is where I live currently. But while I was serving I hooked up with a chick from Lacrosse, Wis who I still live with here in Cali. I had to bring her in to read this....she thought it was pretty funny....


I have seen it before though I think.

Either way...funny stuff!
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Postby Flockers » Sat Nov 13, 2004 11:33 pm

Two boys were playing football in a Saint Paul area park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar& twists, breaking the dog's neck.A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Vikings Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Vikings fan," the boy replied. "Bears Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," the reporter starts again. "I'm not a Bears fan either," the boy said. "Then what are you?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Packers fan." The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck Punk Kills Family Pet."
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Postby CC » Sat Nov 13, 2004 11:39 pm

What does a stolen car and the Minnesota Vikings have in common?

No title.

Did you hear about the new Minnesota Vikings cologne? You wear it and the other guy scores.
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