Q. What do you tell the U of M cheerleader to pick her up after she smiles at you?
A. Nice tooth, babe.
Q. How do you keep your family safe from a Wolverine?
A. Move to Pasadena.
Q. Did you hear the University of Michigan is going to bring back artificial
turf in their football stadium?
A. They're tired of the cheerleaders eating all the grass.
Q. Why did they change the playing field at "The Big House" to cardboard?
A. Because Michigan has always looked better on paper.
Have you heard the news? Lloyd Carr is only going to dress 22 players for the game
against Ohio State. The rest of the players have to dress themselves.
If a couple from Ann Arbor get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a
Michigan joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that
joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Michigan
alumnus. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's a
Michigan alumnus. The fella next to him is 6'5 tall, weighs 250, and he's a
Michigan alumnus. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says,
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times."
Q. Why do Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
A. So they can park in handicapped spots.
Q. You're stranded on an island with a cannibal, mass murderer, and a Michigan fan. You have a gun, but only two bullets. Who do you shoot?
A. The Michigan fan...twice.