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Cut and Paste Trash Talk

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Cut and Paste Trash Talk

Postby Jonathan » Fri Nov 19, 2004 12:02 pm

I wrote this to my friend this morning and realized it was generic enough for anyone to use.

The day is almost upon us. Are you getting worried? Somehow uneasy? Maybe a little bit afraid? Perhaps you have felt something growing in the back of your mind as the week progressed. Like a dark cloud rising over the west on a Monday morning which seems to look through you and make you question the very existence of your soul? Understandable. I wish I could say that it is going to get easier, but unfortunately, as the weekend progresses your nerves will be whipped into a frenzy to the point that by Sunday at noon you’ll be locked in a closet at home with a shotgun, terrified and screaming at people not to come near you because their presence is a reflection of your fantasy football inadequacy. This is probably a valid response to such impending doom, since people do tend to stay away from people locked in closets with shotguns screaming to stay away. It’s human nature. We’ve all been there. I have learned some things in my years of playing fantasy football and I’ve tried to set a good example and to express the fact that this is just a game. Actually, it’s a game based on another game so it’s some kind of second-order meta-game. Alright, I’m not sure what it is, but I do know it’s not worth burning your own house down in disgrace over. Know that you’ll wake up Tuesday morning in defeat and you’ll never be the same. Granted, part of your innocence will have died, but look at it as moving forward to a new stage of your life. You’re like an ugly, scarred moth with one wing, emerging from a cocoon of shattered championship dreams. The point to remember is if you keep fighting you CAN grow that other wing.

Have any of you thrown any good trash talk lately? I didn't even mention the fact that this guy is starting Ronald Curry.
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Postby matmat » Fri Nov 19, 2004 1:51 pm

yawn
if I were the other guy I'd just laugh at you for not being able to make it short and sweet.

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Many posters could benefit from this.
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Postby biju » Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:38 pm

I can certainly admire a verbose beatdown, but like matmat I usually choose a more insolent tone. The last one I had was:

"You'd better hope Dante goes off this week because the rest of your team looks like a monkey's nutsack."

That sparked quite a good "conversation" for sure... :-D
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Postby Free Bagel » Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:39 pm

I liked it. But then again I like pretty much anything that involves someone locked in a closet with a shotgun.
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Postby The_Commish » Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:40 pm

Fell asleep after the third sentence.

Trash talk is short and sweet. ;-D
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Postby joshyboy72 » Fri Nov 19, 2004 2:41 pm

yeah unfortunately I couldn't get through two lines of it
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Postby Bowie » Fri Nov 19, 2004 3:27 pm

Couldn't you just tell the other guy that he sucks and no one likes him?

Edit: If you want to get wordy you could insult his team as well. Maybe his family too (they don't like him anyway).
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Postby jwbseven » Fri Nov 19, 2004 9:36 pm

I think it would make a good excerpt for a novel
To achieve the ultimate reward you must be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice
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Postby iloveny18 » Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:26 pm

jwbseven wrote:I think it would make a good excerpt for a novel


yeah, if this was Around The Horn, you'd get muted quick. try making it shorter next time
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Postby portisfan24 » Fri Nov 19, 2004 10:34 pm

ya sorry way too long and with too many poetic devices. trash talk isnt complicated, but it is witty.
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