I wrote this to my friend this morning and realized it was generic enough for anyone to use.
The day is almost upon us. Are you getting worried? Somehow uneasy? Maybe a little bit afraid? Perhaps you have felt something growing in the back of your mind as the week progressed. Like a dark cloud rising over the west on a Monday morning which seems to look through you and make you question the very existence of your soul? Understandable. I wish I could say that it is going to get easier, but unfortunately, as the weekend progresses your nerves will be whipped into a frenzy to the point that by Sunday at noon you’ll be locked in a closet at home with a shotgun, terrified and screaming at people not to come near you because their presence is a reflection of your fantasy football inadequacy. This is probably a valid response to such impending doom, since people do tend to stay away from people locked in closets with shotguns screaming to stay away. It’s human nature. We’ve all been there. I have learned some things in my years of playing fantasy football and I’ve tried to set a good example and to express the fact that this is just a game. Actually, it’s a game based on another game so it’s some kind of second-order meta-game. Alright, I’m not sure what it is, but I do know it’s not worth burning your own house down in disgrace over. Know that you’ll wake up Tuesday morning in defeat and you’ll never be the same. Granted, part of your innocence will have died, but look at it as moving forward to a new stage of your life. You’re like an ugly, scarred moth with one wing, emerging from a cocoon of shattered championship dreams. The point to remember is if you keep fighting you CAN grow that other wing.
Have any of you thrown any good trash talk lately? I didn't even mention the fact that this guy is starting Ronald Curry.