Awesome. This look familiar?
Welcome da Fantasy Football Cafe!
Looking fo' a new challenge fo' January? If so, take a look at izzle sponsor SportingNews.com's Playoff 3 For All Football n' shit. Compete fo' $5,000 in prizes by picking a different QB, RB, 'n WR each week of da playoffs, but choose carefully - if yo' ass has taken a player once, yo' ass can't pick tha dude's ass again! Or if yo' ass're just too busy stacking those 2003 trophies 'n only want be notified when da 2004 fantasy football season starts at SportingNews.com, click here, know what I'm sayin'? (If yo' ass can't wait get going, yo' ass can already check out they Fantasy Football Draft Kit." )
Already found a league? Great - then yo' ass've come da right place! No matter if yo' ass already has a shelf full of fantasy football trophies or yo' ass're preparing fo' yo' first draft, Fantasy Football Cafe has what yo' ass need make da NFL season successful 'n fun n' shit. From preseason mock drafts 'n fearless predictions by both staff members 'n visitors news 'n updates right through da final down of da Super Bowl, we focus on fantasy football 365 days a year." Actually, since that shiznit's a leap year, make that 366!
Regular features include Start 'n Sit lists, Point of View articles by a terrific team of fantasy football experts, Sleepers of da Week, Cheat Sheets, Links interesting football sites, 'n much mo'." Drop by make last-minute roster decisions in izzle weekly pre-game chats, 'n play free games such as Pick3, Sweet Sixteen or da Trivia Blitz fo' prizes 'n bragging rights, know what I'm sayin'?
Above izzall, join us in da Fantasy Football Forums fo' talk, tips 'n advice, 'n a whole lot of humor." Whether yo' ass're looking fo' opinions on yo' latest trade offer, want discuss yo' favorite team, need input on yo' keeper list, or simply wish browse da classifieds fo' league openings, yo' ass'll find what yo' ass're looking fo' here, know what I'm sayin'? Yo' ass'll has bring yo' own coffee, but yo' ass won't find a friendlier atmosphere or mo' interesting discussions anywhere n' shit. And best of izzall, there won't be a waiter bringing yo' ass a check: everything on this Cafe's menu is absolutely free."
Wishing yo' ass izzall da best fo' a fantastic fantasy football season,
The Fantasy Football Cafe staff
Fo shizzle. I think Arlo should permanently begin typing that way for Cafe stuff.

"The son of Bobby Bowden once again proved he's as predictable as a Julia Roberts' movie.
And upon further review, just as sappy, too."
-Naples Daily News