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Comedian Mitch Hedberg Dies

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Postby Tyr » Sat Apr 02, 2005 1:33 am

"I used to do drugs. I still do drugs, but I used to, too."

"I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch, do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly..."

"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be waaay better than before."

"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit ..unless you are a table."

"I have a sliding glass door with a sticker that says: "Warning Alarm System". It's a real simple system, too.. yeah, it consists of a sticker."

Mitch Hedberg was one of my all time favorite comedians, along with Brian Regan and David Cross. When I heard the news yesterday, I was profoundly upset and disturbed.

Word on every comedy/mitch related forum I've been to still maintains that he died of a heroin overdose, and his family is just trying to keep it under wraps. I guess it's how he would have wanted to go, but it's still a tragedy.

RIP, Mitch.

"You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, corn-off-the-cob. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attach it, and call it "Mitch-all-together"."[/b]
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Postby Football Newbie » Sat Apr 02, 2005 3:03 am

awwchrist wrote:DAMN IT.

Oh lord, why couldn't you have taken Patten Oswalt instead?


No friggin kidding. Worst semi-famous comedian ever.
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Postby Dr. Duran Duran » Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:15 am

I'm at a loss right now. I just saw him last year with my co-workers and had a blast. So sad that he's not with us anymore, he made so many of us laugh.

R.I.P. Mitch

We'll miss you so much.
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Postby daullaz » Sun Apr 03, 2005 11:24 pm

"My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroachers. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don't want them to. I'm all, hey, hold on fellas. Let me hold one of you and feed you a leaf."

"Last week, I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure he did not start to load stuff into a truck."

"I miss the two (dollar bill). I could break a two."

"I'm a mumbler. Sometimes I'm walking with a friend and say something, and he won't hear me and he'll say 'What?' I'll say it again, and he still won't hear me and say 'What?' But it's really just some insignificant stuff that I'm saying. But now I'm screaming, 'That tree is far away!'"

"I was at the airport and some guy came up to me and said, 'Dude, I saw you on T.V. last night,' but he did not say whether or not he liked it. He just comfirmed I was on television. So I looked away for a minute, then looked back, and said, 'Dude, I saw you at the airport. About a minute ago. You were good.'"

This is only a small sampling of some of his work. If you've never heard it, go buy his CDs. I've seen him in person twice. He was an amazing comic. RIP Mitch.
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