Fantasy Football Cafe Forum

by **mtryanks12** » Fri May 13, 2005 8:59 pm

I felt compelled to share this with you guys. Got it in my email today from my gi rlfriend (filter).

>Hello,

> > > >> > >>>>My name is none of your business. I am suffering from
> > > >> > >>>>seven rare and ly diseases, poor scores on final
> > > >> > >>>>exams, fear of being mauled by squirrels, and guilt
> > > >> > >>>>for not forwarding out 50 billion chain letters sent
> > > >> > >>>>to me by people who actually believe that if you send
> > > >> > >>>>them on, then that poor 6 year old in Arkansas
> > > >> > >>>>with a potato growing out of her forehead will be
> > > >> > >>>>able to raise enough money to have it removed before
> > > >> > >>>>her redneck parents sell her off to the traveling
> > > >> > >>>>freak show.
> > > >> > >>>>Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
> > > >> > >>>>give you and everyone you send "his" email to $1000?
> > > >> > >>>>How stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll
> > > >> > >>>>down this page and make a wish, I'll meet the
> > > >> > >>>>(or guy) of my dreams tomorrow! What a bunch of junk.
> > > >> > >>>>So basically, this message is directed to all the
> > > >> > >>>>people out there who have nothing better to do than to
> > > >> > >>>>send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil

> > > >> > >>>>letter leprechauns will come into my house and write
> > > >> > >>>>"I'm a weirdo" on my forehead in permanent marker in my
> > > >> > >>>>sleep for not continuing the chain which was started
> > > >> > >>>>by a knight of the round table and was brought to
> > > >> > >>>>this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and
> > > >> > >>>>if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the
> > > >> > >>>>Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
> > > >> > >>>>streak of blatant stupidity. If you're going to
> > > >> > >>>>forward something, atleast send me something mildly
> > > >> > >>>>amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
> > > >> > >>>>closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a
> > > >> > >>>>human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
> > > >> > >>>>omniscient being" forward about 90 times. It's getting
> > > >> > >>>>old. Show a little intelligence and think about what
> > > >> > >>>>you're actually contributing to by sending out
> > > >> > >>>>forwards.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>(scroll down)
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Make a wish!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>No, really, go on and make one!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Wish something else!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>No, I'm sorry, we're out of ponies
> > > >> > >>>>at the time being!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Have you forgotten why you're scrolling yet?
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>STOP!!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll
> > > >> > >>>>do.First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people
> > > >> > >>>>in the next 5 seconds, you will be kidnapped by ninja
> > > >> > >>>>elves and thrown off a high building into a pile of
> > > >> > >>>>manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like
> > > >> > >>>>all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!
> > > >> > >>>>Really!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Here's how it goes:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*Send this to 1 person:
> > > >> > >>>>One person will be annoyed with you for
> > > >> > >>>>sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*Send this to 2-5 people:
> > > >> > >>>>2-5 people will be annoyed with you for
> > > >> > >>>>sending them a stupid chain letter.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*Send this to 5-10 people:
> > > >> > >>>>5-10 people will be annoyed with you for
> > > >> > >>>>sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
> > > >> > >>>>form a plot on your life.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*Send this to 10-20 people:
> > > >> > >>>>10-20 people will be annoyed with you for
> > > >> > >>>>sending them a stupid chain letter and will your
> > > >> > >>>house.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Chain Letter Type 2:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You
> > > >> > >>>>see, there is a starving little boy in
> > > >> > >>>>Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no
> > > >> > >>>>parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be
> > > >> > >>>>saved, because for every time you pass this on, a
> > > >> > >>>>dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
> > > >> > >>>>Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
> > > >> > >>>>Fund.
> > > >> > >>>>Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of
> > > >> > >>>>counting the emails sent and this is all a complete
> > > >> > >>>>load of junk. So go on reach out.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Oh, and a reminder - if you ally send
> > > >> > >>>>this to
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>4 or 6 people, you will die instantly!!! Thanks again!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Chain Letter Type 3:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence
> > > >> > >>>>since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because
> > > >> > >>>>there was no email then and probably not as many sad
> > > >> > >>>>email addicts with nothing better to do. So this is
> > > >> > >>>>how it works:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>1. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
> > > >> > >>>>minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*Bizarre Horror Story* #1
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
> > > >> > >>>>Saturday. She had recently received this letter and
> > > >> > >>>>ignored it. She then tripped in a in the
> > > >> > >>>>sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
> > > >> > >>>>drainpipe in a flood of rotted leaves, and went flying out
> > > >> > >>>>over a waterfall. Not only did she smell , she died
> > > >> > >>>>too.
> > > >> > >>>>This Could Happen To You!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*Bizarre Horror Story* 2
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his
>mail
> > > >> > >>>and
> > > >> > >>>>ignored
> > > >> > >>>>it. Later that day, he was crushed by an anvil that was
> > > >> > >>>dropped by a
> > > >> > >>>>plane
> > > >> > >>>>that just happened to be flying directly above him.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>This Could Happen To You Too!!!
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>2. Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and
> > > >> > >>>>Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser
> > > >> > >>>>friends, and everything will be okay.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Chain Letter Type 4:
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
>every
> > > >> > >>>one of
> > > >> > >>>>your
> > > >> > >>>>friends.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Friends
> > > >> > >>>>Blah, Blah, Blah,
> > > >> > >>>>Friends,
> > > >> > >>>>Blah, Blah, Blah.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>A friend is not someone who sends you chain
> > > >> > >>>>letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come
> > > >> > >>>>true.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>Now pass this on! If you don't, no one will like
> > > >> > >>>>you for as long as you live. I mean it, as long as you
> > > >> > >>>>live.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>The point being?
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >>>>*If you get some chain letter that's threatening
> > > >> > >>>>to leave you friendless or luckless for the rest of your
> > > >> > >>>>life, delete it.
> > > >> > >>>>
> > > >> > >*If it's funny, send it on. Don't annoy people by
> > > >> > >making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with
> > > >> > >no teeth, who's been tied to a elephant for 27
> > > >> > >years, whose only chance of living is the 5 cents per
> > > >> > >letter he'll receive if you forward this mail,
> > > >> > >otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right.
> > > >> > >
> > > >> > >*******Now forward this to everyone you know
> > > >> > >otherwise you'll find all your socks missing tomorrow
> > > >> > >morning!
> > > >> >
> > > >>
> > > >>
> > > >> " It's better to be d for who you are then loved for who you
>are
> > >not." -
> > > >> Unknown

by **Azrael** » Fri May 13, 2005 10:06 pm

Wow, after seeing how long that was and how tiny the words were I decided to move on to the next post.

by **no1cowboysfan** » Fri May 13, 2005 10:12 pm

Isn't this the truth. I feel like anyone who ever sends me a chain letter just hates me, and that this is their way of expressing it.

by **CKY_ROX** » Sat May 14, 2005 1:23 am

i have my own way of sending these to 2-5 people or whatever, becasue of my hatrid of these things, i just send it back to the sender about 3 or 4 times. So, needless to say, they got the idea, and i dont get these anymore

by **maddog60** » Sat May 14, 2005 3:02 am

Ive luckily met enough awful human beings in college that if I cared to take the time I would have 10-15 people to email chain letters to who I couldn't give a care in the world about.

Not that I actually want to take the time it takes to forward those stupid chain letters.