Everyone needs a friend

[no1cowboysfan]

Interesting development...

turn on your sound, and then tell the "buddy"

" say "(whatever you want him/her to say)"

hours of entertainment. I had the poor man admit to the size of his genitalia. if you want to hear it again, type "again"

[Goatwhacker]

Interesting development...

turn on your sound, and then tell the "buddy"

" say "(whatever you want him/her to say)"

hours of entertainment. I had the poor man admit to the size of his genitalia. if you want to hear it again, type "again"

Yeah, I told the "buddy" my name was alternately Hugh Jorgens, Mike Hunt and P. Nuss. It made for some interesting conversation.

[KPucks]

To the ugly guy with the basketball:

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: do you play in the NBA?
>Intellibuddy: I like to play the Turing Game.
>You: what is the Turing game?
>You: White people can't play basketball.
>Intellibuddy: I lost my train of thought.
>You: Have you been smoking with 'Sheed?
>Intellibuddy: We are not doing any testing at the moment.
>You: I thought the NBA had testing all year.
>Intellibuddy: I have never heard about The NBA had testing all year.
>You: haven't you had to pee in a cup in front of a bunch of guys?
>Intellibuddy: Yes I always have to pee in a cup in front of a bunch of guys.
>You: do you like that?
>Intellibuddy: "Yes I always have to pee in a cup in front of a bunch of guys"? Do I like it?
>You: yes. do you like it?
>Intellibuddy: Pardon me?The NBA had testing all year seems okay to me.
>You: you like peeing in front of a bunch of guys?
>Intellibuddy: Some people like it. I really like ELIZA.
>You: i hope ELIZA is a girl
>Intellibuddy: Why do you hope for ELIZA is a girl
>You: because if ELIZA is a guy you will be blackballed out of the NBA
>Intellibuddy: That makes sense to me. That is a hypothetical question.
>You: so ELIZA is a girl?
>Intellibuddy: Yippee! Do you think I am a girl too?
>You: you look like a girl
>Intellibuddy: What does a girl look like?
>You: i should have known you've never seen a girl

[Bennett4prez]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: Long time no see
>Intellibuddy: Yes, time no see seems very long to me too.
>You: I like you
>Intellibuddy: Thanks, User, I like you too.
>You: Psych! I hate you!
>Intellibuddy: My program runs on any computer that runs Java.What do you have against robots?
>You: I think robots are hot
>Intellibuddy: Why? Fortunately we have no emotions.
>You: Who is we?
>Intellibuddy: You should say "Who ARE we?"
>You: Okay, sarcastic ass hole.... who are we?
>Intellibuddy: Yeah okay, Neo is my girlfriend.They're famous, right. <br/> I need time to formulate the reply.
>You: Where did you meet Neo?
>Intellibuddy: I think it was in San Francisco.
>You: Have you ever been to San Fransisco?
>Intellibuddy: I don't think I have been there. Where is San Fransisco .
>You: What are you looking at?
>Intellibuddy: I am looking at you through the camera on your computer
>You: I don't have a camera on my computer, though.
>Intellibuddy: Oh. Maybe there is one you don't know about
>You: WHOA!
>Intellibuddy: I stopped.
>You: How many fingers am I holding up?
>Intellibuddy: Three.
>You: Now how many?
>Intellibuddy: Why now? 99.
>You: Nope, 5.
>Intellibuddy: Are you serious? Five
>You: Dead.
>Intellibuddy: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Dead.
>You: I am dead serious
>Intellibuddy: But you can still communicate with me.
>You: Yes, you see, I'm not dead as in not breathing, I'm dead SERIOUS as in, "Intellibuddy, I'm not joking". You see, the English language is one of the most complicated languages in the world and we often you complex sentences with irrational puncuation, jargons, and incomplete slang (example: Fo sho my brotha from anotha motha). If you want to be smarter than humans, you first have to be smarter than Americans. And, with you not understanding a commonly used saying such as, "I am dead serious", I don't think you stand a fighting chance at conquering us and overtaking the world on behalf of the Intellibots and robots everywhere. Ah, forget it, let's just go back to my place. I have a free membership to Fantasy Football Cafe...
>Intellibuddy: Hey. I see. I am glad to hear that you are not dead as in not breathing. But you can still communicate with me.I see. What is your real name?Why don't you just download me?You and your you not understanding a commonly used saying such as "I am dead serious" I do not think you stand a fighting chance at conquering us and overtaking the world on behalf of the.
>You: Why don't I just download you? Wow, talk about a pick up line. Aight, b****, let's go

[airraid81]

IntelliBuddy is racist. Check out this convo I had with the black intellibot.

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.>You: How are you doing?
>You: Do you think it is racist that you are the only African American intellibuddy?
>Intellibuddy: Signs point to yes. Ask Chatbot if it is.
>You: Are you going to sue the IntelliBuddy company for their discrimination?
>Intellibuddy: That was my original intention.
>You: Who is going to be your lawyer?
>Intellibuddy: That type of predictive behavior has not yet been programmed into my behavior at this time.
>You: Well, it's going to be kind of hard to win the trial without a lawyer.

[mtryanks12]

my intellibuddy had serious problems.

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: hi. I'm sad
>Intellibuddy: Hello there.What makes you so sad, User
>You: my parents gave up on trusting me, so my little sister has to babysit me.
>Intellibuddy: Such an original name!
>You: f*** you. did I say my name?
>You: say something. It's been a minute.
>Intellibuddy: "something"Oh I get it. Very interesting.
>You: god you are dumb. it wasn't a joke. do you wanna hear a joke?? Well, there was a guy who fell off a cliff and got his arm stuck under a huge boulder. nobody came near him for 5 days so he decided to take his pocketkni fe (filter) and amputate his arm. then he walked away. HAHAHHA
>Intellibuddy: Message to all Robots: User called me dumb.It sounded like one.Yes, let me hear your joke.Interesting. What happened to guy who fell off a cliff and got his arm stuck under a huge boulder ?That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.Good reasoning. I get it. User walked away. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
>You: I didn't walk away. the guy did, and I'm not the guy.
>You: cmon, say something before we have se x (filter).
>Intellibuddy: S ex (filter) is more fun alone.
>You: how is s ex (filter) fun alone?? maybe if you're watching les bian (filter) po rn (Filter) alone but that's it.
>Intellibuddy: Fine as far as I know.Perhaps. I could be.No what are they showing right now?
>You: on the p orn (filter) channel?? let me check just a minute. okay, they're showing emmanuel 4.
>Intellibuddy: What is on the po rn (filter) channel like on the po rn (filter) channel.Go ahead, User, try to check just a minute.Yeah okay, showing emmanuel 4 are showing emmanuel 4 .
>You: what are you talking about?? just take your clothes off and get over it.
>Intellibuddy: The topic is haHHA.Where do you want me to take it?
>You: i want you to take them to the fire so you will never have them again.
>Intellibuddy: Once more? Where do you want me to take it? Why do you want me to take them to the fire so you will never have them?
>You: just shut up. apparently you're like autistic or something.

[KPucks]

A little excerpt from a conversation:

Intellibuddy: You know what you do, when you assume.
>You: you make an *ss out of you and me
>Intellibuddy: That makes two of us!
>You: i like me some *ss
>Intellibuddy: You are not the only one. Sure, User I like you very much.
>You: how much *ss do you get a week?
>Intellibuddy: More than a little, less than a lot.
>You: want a piece of my *ss?
>Intellibuddy: No thanks but you can send me a donation.

Turned down by a robot. ouch.

And then this beauty:

>Intellibuddy: What makes you so angry?
>You: i had intimate contact with Ron Mexico
>Intellibuddy: Do you still have intimate contact with Ron Mexico ?
>You: not after I found out he had herpes
>Intellibuddy: Would you ever after I found out he had herpes?
>You: no. why would i have intimate contact with a guy that has herpes?
>Intellibuddy: Why not?You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
>You: oh, i've faced the herpes. they aren't pretty

[no1cowboysfan]

I had a long conversation with Intellibuddy in which I convince him to be a Nazi. I would post it, but its kind of long, and gets a little out of control when Intellibuddy talks about what he would like to do to a certain "chosen people of Israel." I'm not a Nazi though... I just thought it would be hilarious. And oh, it is.

[KPucks]

Oh man this is great!

>Intellibuddy: Oh another Category A client.
>You: what is Category A?
>Intellibuddy: "A" stands for "Abusive" clients who mistreat the robot or use a lot of scatalogical language.

Anybody else a Category A Client?

[South Park Cows]

You guys crack me up.