Cop Humor.

[Guttpuppy]

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you
didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my
gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift
supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey shit.

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend
of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

and the best one . .

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? . You're right,
we don't. ... Sign here."

[Redskins Win]

Cops . . . the funniest thing is cops have no sense of humor

Me likes . .

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

[Flockers]

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

Haha.

[Dr. Duran Duran]

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? . You're right,
we don't. ... Sign here."

Very nice.

[deluxe_247]

nice posts...i got a laugh out of almost all of them

#9 is awesome

[CC]

Hilarious.

[myintrotoletyouknow]

haha awesome

i think 13 and 1 are my favorites

[The Miner Part 2]

the name of this thread is an oxymoron.

[catch22]

blah.....not so funny....

[Gunslinger]

I had a cop tell me "happy birthday" as he handed me a ticket on my birthday. It was my 18th birthday, too, so he said I get to go to "adult court". I didn't think it was funny at the time. Of course, I WAS doing over 100 in a 55 mph zone so I didn't mouth off too much. He wrote the ticket for 72 mph. (FYI - It was an empty road and I was trying out my new Camaro).