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Don't lie to your mom

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Postby Pete123444 » Wed Jun 29, 2005 10:41 pm

WTG Mom!!

that's great
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Postby hastur » Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:51 am

good one!
Go Cowboys!
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Postby Redskins Win » Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:56 am

Classic
But what's the big deal if he's gettin with some hot chick props to him. ;-D
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Postby Sixxgunn » Thu Jun 30, 2005 10:19 am

I don't think I'd have that snooping old broad to dinner any time soon after that one. Mothers...sheesh!
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Postby dream_017 » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:49 pm

Great post, but here is his story after his mother came to dinner:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.
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Postby Tiki » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:52 pm

HAHA! Another great story! ;-D
Keep it lit.
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Postby defianthart » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:54 pm

i think ive heard that before but its pretty damn funny, i dont think i could have kept myself from laughing if i did that to a girl
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Postby kashikis » Thu Jun 30, 2005 3:20 pm

:-b
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What the hell.... is goin' on.... in the NFL?!
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