Long post!!! It sounded funny to me as I wrote it, though.
Well, I think there are 3 distinct classes of fans (I am not lumping any Cafe members into any categories...you can put them there for yourself.
1) "Homers" - These are the people that find loyalty in sports teams by city alone. They feel the players represent the city they live in, so because of that, they want to cheer them on to victory. Many times I commend these people for sticking with a team even if they are not one of the better teams in a sport (example - me and my Pirates...
). The only downside to these fans is the small sub-group of "Homers" known as "Albino-homers." Their blind loyalty to the players on their team clouds their actual judgment of the quality of the players in question. (example - King Titan.
2) "Bandwagoners" - These are very shifty people indeed. Not really having a team to call their own, these guys constantly sway their loyalty to an up-and-coming team that seems to be heading for the playoffs or a good season or a new player that they think is good. (Example - the people that are all of a sudden in love with the Chargers and the Falcons...they are starting to play better than in years past, and they have electrifying players like Tomlinson/Vick to aspire to.)
Bandwagoners don't want to be "homers," normally because a) their hometown team is garbage or b) they don't like the town/players that play in their hometown. I'm not a big supporter of bandwagon fans...mainly because a good percentage of them just do it so they have the glory of their "favorite team" winning each year.
The only acceptable form of "Bandwagoner" is the "Onset Dedicated Bandwagoner" better known as "ODB's."
These are sports fans that started to like a team at such a young age that they could not have possibly known that what they were doing was becoming a Bandwagoner. They stick with that team from then on and are unwavering in their loyalty even through tough years (example - me. I've liked the 49ers since I was six years old...the first football game I ever watched was SB XIX - I had to watch the game in another room because my dad hates sports...I liked the 49ers jerseys and picked them to win the game. I've liked them ever since.)
3) "Homer/Bandwagoners" - These guys/girls are better known as "Sports Fan Scum of the Earth."
These fans can be broken into two hybrid sub-groups: The HB's and the BH's.
"HB's" (as we'll title them) are normally not even sports fans at all. Most of the time they just happen to realize that the team they live closest to is starting to play well, and other actual sports fans (most likely "homers") are talking more and more about the team. Because they want to appear in the know, "HB's" start to pick up on what the team is doing and attempt to act like "homers." They will buy all sorts of pennants, bumper stickers, shirts, etc. to try to enhance their image as a fan of their hometown heroes...all the while not really caring a bit about the sport or knowing much about the players involved. You're lucky if an "HB" even knows the name of the top QB, RB, and WR of their football team.
Note how I added "girls" into this equation. I would say 80% -90% of women are "HB's." Due to the increased popularity of the hometown team, more football parties are needed to be had at people's houses. Many women will then put the party together with other friends (predominantly other "H/B's"). These "H/B-havens," as they shall be known, are created for all to have a good time cheering blindly for the team wearing the correct color jersey.
The more detestable subgroup of "H/B's" would be the "BH's." Generally BH's are hibernatory. In a subconscious slumber all the time, these people actually do follow sports quite regularly...but they normally do not cheer for or do not like their hometown team. The reason for this is almost exclusively a poor local team that has continually lost for several years. They will decry and belittle the play and players of the hometown team. But, when that team starts to actually show signs of life, the BH's true persona crawls out of an inner cave and starts to scream the praises of the city's pride and joy team. Out come the old banners, coffee mugs, hats, shirts (most of which don't fit anymore), and other paraphernalia that has been locked away in the BH's basement/garage (the physical cave of their inner psyche).
There you have it - everything you need to know about the kingdom of sports fans...all brought to you by Mercer Boy - proud ODB.