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Wanted:Warren Sapp.

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Wanted:Warren Sapp.

Postby Guttpuppy » Fri Sep 05, 2003 2:58 pm

By Frank Fitzpatrick-philly.com

WANTED: Warren Sapp, defensive tackle, Tampa Bay

Aliases:"Bear," "Chatty Chubby," "Blabbering Blubber," "Personal Foul, Defense, No. 99."

Description: 6-foot-2, 303 pounds when he has one leg on the scale... . Should be considered fat and dangerous... . Hairstyle ranges from bald to Stevie Wonder, circa 1974... . Lost weight a year ago, but recent reports indicate he has had the munchies again; his belly worked for Goodyear during the off-season, accommodating an airborne crew of six... . Most distinguishing characteristic is a perpetually open mouth... . Sometimes wears a dark visor; in such cases can easily be mistaken for a screened-in porch.

Infractions: Talks more trash than the CEO of BFI... . Has smuggled hoagies into fields around the NFL... . An accomplished escape artist, he disappeared without a trace in NFC playoff losses in Philadelphia after the 2000 and 2001 seasons... . Finally backed up his bluster with a run-stopping performance that helped Tampa Bay defeat the Eagles in the NFC championship game in January.

Why wanted: The Eagles will need to run the ball Monday night against a Bucs defense quick enough to contain quarterback Donovan McNabb. That means they'll have to find a way to neutralize Sapp. Offensive linemen might want to consider carrying cheesesteaks... . Containing Sapp also means not having to listen to him jabber all night. Was surprisingly quiet on visits to Philadelphia before January... . Has consistently bad-mouthed the Eagles and their fans. "Who the hell are the Eagles to prove anything to?" he barked in January 2001. "I don't recall them having any championships."... Sapp won't miss Veterans Stadium since he grew tired of hearing that it was the only thing in the NFL bigger, rounder and more unkempt than Sapp.
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Postby Cornbread Maxwell » Fri Sep 05, 2003 4:07 pm

lol - funny stuff.
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Postby terpfan » Fri Sep 05, 2003 10:47 pm

haha i got a good laugh outta that!

chatt chubby... lmao
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