No, not that, you pervert.
A stiff neck. About once a year or so I wake up with stiff muscles in my lower neck and upper back. It's really painful! Keeping motion to a minimum for several days is the only way to deal with it. Driving is downright hazardous because I can't turn my head when backing up or checking blind spots. It usually takes about four to five days to go away completely.
What causes this? Is there anyway to prevent this? Is this just an artifact of getting old?