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Postby 34=Sweetness » Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:54 am

Pearls Before Swine, Boondocks, Get Fuzzy, and Dilbert are clearly made of win+god.
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Postby bagobonez » Thu Nov 24, 2005 11:22 am

I always loved Maddox' take on Garfield.

==========================================

For those of you who never receive greeting cards, Garfield is the orange merchandising turd that creator Jim Davis pinches out every Sunday in newspapers around the world, traumatizing millions with his bland humor week after tragic week.

When he's not licensing the hell out of Garfield with toys, bags, napkins, paper cups, socks, and probably tampons, Davis takes a break from whoring out his creation to occasionally write a new strip. Found in the "humor" section of newspapers, reading the comic is like having a five-finger prostate examination. Many years from now when Davis dies and CNN is undoubtedly squandering precious airtime on the passing of another sanctimonious American icon, historians will look back upon this series as a cancerous lump on the teat of humor strips. There's nothing funny about Garfield. Every single comic starts out the same: Garfield sits around being fat, he eats all the food, and his ambiguously gay owner yells at him:


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The cat eats food. Alright, WE GET IT. Move on. Then as if to piss all over our better judgement, Davis has received the National Cartoonist Society: Best Humor award. Twice. Garfield gets awarded for humor and "Family Guy" keeps getting canceled faster than a baby at Planned Parenthood. That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why does everyone want to save them? There are too many babies. I'm not saying we should kill them, but if you happen to be giving your baby a bath and the phone rings.. well, nobody will judge you. Besides, you might get free brownies out of it at the funeral, and brownies rule.

As if one criminally boring comic after another wasn't enough to dull your senses, "Garfield: The Movie" is poised to hit theaters this summer. I'm impressed that they've been able to take a 2D character with a 1D personality and bloat it into a 3D disaster. With a tagline like "it's all about ME-OW," you can be guaranteed the cinematic equivalence of having your hand fed to a wood chipper when this mind-dump hits the screen. The tagline would be more fitting if it were changed to "it's all about ME-OH-CRAP-I-THINK-I-JUST-HAD-AN-ANEURISM." A movie about Garfield? What next, a sequel to "The Mask" starring a CGI baby?
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Postby creamdoorthirtyniner » Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:45 pm

I actually laughed out loud there, something I'm not too prone to doing! Kudos for finding that :-b ;-D :-b ;-D
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Postby Bravos of Steel » Thu Nov 24, 2005 5:51 pm

bagobonez wrote:I always loved Maddox' take on Garfield.

==========================================

For those of you who never receive greeting cards, Garfield is the orange merchandising turd that creator Jim Davis pinches out every Sunday in newspapers around the world, traumatizing millions with his bland humor week after tragic week.

When he's not licensing the hell out of Garfield with toys, bags, napkins, paper cups, socks, and probably tampons, Davis takes a break from whoring out his creation to occasionally write a new strip. Found in the "humor" section of newspapers, reading the comic is like having a five-finger prostate examination. Many years from now when Davis dies and CNN is undoubtedly squandering precious airtime on the passing of another sanctimonious American icon, historians will look back upon this series as a cancerous lump on the teat of humor strips. There's nothing funny about Garfield. Every single comic starts out the same: Garfield sits around being fat, he eats all the food, and his ambiguously gay owner yells at him:


Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

Image

The cat eats food. Alright, WE GET IT. Move on. Then as if to piss all over our better judgement, Davis has received the National Cartoonist Society: Best Humor award. Twice. Garfield gets awarded for humor and "Family Guy" keeps getting canceled faster than a baby at Planned Parenthood. That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why does everyone want to save them? There are too many babies. I'm not saying we should kill them, but if you happen to be giving your baby a bath and the phone rings.. well, nobody will judge you. Besides, you might get free brownies out of it at the funeral, and brownies rule.

As if one criminally boring comic after another wasn't enough to dull your senses, "Garfield: The Movie" is poised to hit theaters this summer. I'm impressed that they've been able to take a 2D character with a 1D personality and bloat it into a 3D disaster. With a tagline like "it's all about ME-OW," you can be guaranteed the cinematic equivalence of having your hand fed to a wood chipper when this mind-dump hits the screen. The tagline would be more fitting if it were changed to "it's all about ME-OH-CRAP-I-THINK-I-JUST-HAD-AN-ANEURISM." A movie about Garfield? What next, a sequel to "The Mask" starring a CGI baby?



LMAO wow that's hilarious! Nice!
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Postby defianthart » Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:23 pm

im surprised the farside has only been mentioned once... i have every farside book and have read them all so many times i cant even remember

there still hasnt been a comic created that is better than farside
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Postby hastur » Fri Nov 25, 2005 1:02 pm

My favorites:

Calvin & Hobbs
Farside
Zits
Fox Trot
Get Fuzzy
Pirana Club
Bloom County
Doonsbury
Overboard
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Re: favorite comics

Postby gursikh11 » Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:41 am

Very nice topic has been started here. I like Batman and Captain Comics.
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