Saturday Humor - Books Never Written Sports Edition

[Warhawk]

We over at the ESPN boards were having a little fun and came up with these, enjoy. I thought a little humor around here was much needed.

Books Never Written – Sports Version:

"Hiring The Agent That’s’ Right For You"
-Terrell Owens

"Throwing the perfect pass"
- Michael Vick.

"Championship Traditions"
-The AZ Cardinals

"Winning it All"
- Peyton Manning - Foreword by Dan Marino

"How to take a hit while catching a ball over the middle"
- Randy Moss

"My Losing Season"
- Tom Brady

"Throw The Other Guy The Damn Ball"
- Keyshawn and TO

“How I lied to Congress and Got Away with it”
- Raphael Palmeiro

“The Art of Negotiating”
- Bob Goodenow and the NHLPA

"OUCH! how I survived the NFL"
- David Carr

"I'm Batman"
- Wayne Chrebet - forward by Al Toon

"Keeping Your Emotions In Check"
- Dick Vermeil

“Football in January”
- The Cincinnati Bengals

“Our friends, the Cops”
- The Baltimore Ravens

"Proper Alumni Etiquette"
- The Miami Hurricanes Alums (AKA 7th Floor Crew *snicker*)

I’m gonna stop here to mention that I heard that song by the Miami guys. Other than being very crude, it was entirely unremarkable. I was kinda hoping it would actually be interesting, but the fact is, as a rap song, it just kinda sucked.

Back to the list…

"How to keep your ego in check"
- Jerry Jones

"Tips on winning the Super Bowl"
- The Buffalo Bills - foreword by Scott Norwood

“ESPN NFL analysts who are fun to watch”
-Mark Schlereth
-Sean Sailsbury
-Merril Hodge
-Mike Golic

"Calling it Quits"
- Rickey Henderson

"How to make it big"
-Ryan Leaf - Forward by Drew Henson

"Clutch Pitching"
- Brad Lidge

"Living up to expectations"
- Co-authored by the Stanford and Kansas basketball teams.

"Defense wins championships"
- The St. Louis Rams

"Meditation and the Art of Silence"
- Bill Romanowski

"Your Body: God's Temple"
- Dennis Rodman

"Pounding the Football"
- Mike Martz and Andy Reid

"Proper Hair Maintenence"
- Terry Bradshaw

The last 6 were mine.

[sPoRtZsTuD2318]

Haha!

Nice

[matmat]

you missed

The Complete Joy of Pitching
by John Rocker

[Guru13]

or,

Throwing Strikes is Simple
By: Rick Ankiel



hope y'all know who that is...

[ChoneJohn]

weren't the cards giving ankiel a try out in the OF during spring training this year? he remains one of the weirdest sports stories ever...how do you just lose your stuff that quickly?


Here's another:

Building a Winning Franchise
by Matt Millen

[CC]

How to Recover after Missing a Big Kick
-by Adam Vinatieri

Chemistry with Your Quarterback
-by Terrell Owens

40 Times are a Good Measure of Talent
-by Donte Stallworth

You Don't Need Steroids
-by Tony Mandarich

[portisfan24]

"Boating Etiquette"

The Minnesota Vikings


"Domestic Abuse is wrong"

Randy McMichael foreword by Samari Rolle


"Call a Cab: The Leonard Little Story"

With contributions from Raphael Furcal

[UNDEFEATED]

10 Ways to Get Closer to Your Coach
-TO

i like the Ankiel one.

How to Save Your Marriage
-Kobe Bryant

[moonhead]

We Can Work It Out
-Ray Carruth

Cellphones Are Cool
-Jamal Lewis

How to Punk a Dude At a Club
-Ken Hamlin

Call The Bookie
-Art Schliester

[TheMule]

I just got one from the Raider Image!


"Commitment to Exellence"
Al Davis


Now that is freakin' hilarious!! and this from a Raider Fan? Hmm...