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Terrell Owens' New Rap Song Review

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Terrell Owens' New Rap Song Review

Postby BrutallyHuge » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:07 am

The song is called "I'm Back" and it was reviewed today on Pitchfork.

Terrell Owens: "I'm Back"
genre: hip-hop/wtf

It would be so easy to just chump this dude-- he's been doing the heavy lifting for the better part of his mind-melting career. For example: T.O. couldn't catch this beat running! Here's the thing: though not even a passable MC riding what amounts to a less than mediocre Casio preset beat, newly inked Dallas Cowboys receiver Terrell Owens brings an odd, affectingly plainspoken early-80s vibe to his rapping. Like a less believable Kool Moe Dee, maybe.

Don't get it twisted, this song sucks. But when he adjusts what is basically a deeper, rhythm-less version of his speaking voice to the cause, his points come loud and clear: "I got a brand new team/ I am a Cowboy now/ No more black and green/ To the haters that said I'm not going to get my money/ I'm laughing in your face ha ha that's funny," he raps. Which is funny because he doesn't laugh during that "ha ha." He actually says, "HA HA." That's funny. You mad Andy Reid? All said, my money's on 107 catches, 1,156 yards, 12 TDs, and zero calls from L.A. Reid. [Sean Fennessey]

1.5 Stars out of 5
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Postby CC » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:28 am

Best line in the entire review.

Don't get it twisted. This song sucks.
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Postby VaderFin » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:29 am

1.5 is too generous.
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Postby dream_017 » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:31 am

VaderFin wrote:1.5 is too generous.


I think they had the decimal out of place...should read:

.15 Stars out of 5 ;-D ;-D
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Postby knapplc » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:34 am

This is what being famous gets you. If TO fell out of his La-Z-Boy someone would give him some sort of rating on his landing.

Seriously, why do we need to feed this guy's ego any more by reviewing this song? Even giving it 1.5/5 stars is giving it more attention than it deserves.
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Postby BrutallyHuge » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:46 am

knapplc wrote:Seriously, why do we need to feed this guy's ego any more by reviewing this song? Even giving it 1.5/5 stars is giving it more attention than it deserves.


I seriously doubt Terrell Owens is reading Pitchfork (primarily underground music reviews) or the Cafe.

It wouldn't matter anyway...Terrell Owens can't read.
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Postby moonhead » Tue Apr 04, 2006 11:55 am

BrutallyHuge wrote:
knapplc wrote:Seriously, why do we need to feed this guy's ego any more by reviewing this song? Even giving it 1.5/5 stars is giving it more attention than it deserves.


I seriously doubt Terrell Owens is reading Pitchfork (primarily underground music reviews) or the Cafe.

It wouldn't matter anyway...Terrell Owens can't read.


that's the funniest thing i've read today. :-b
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Re: Terrell Owens' New Rap Song Review

Postby The_Dude » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:10 pm

Like a less believable Kool Moe Dee, maybe.


To me, that's the funniest line.
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Postby Alkaholik » Tue Apr 04, 2006 2:01 pm

is there song out yet to listen to?
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Postby portisfan24 » Tue Apr 04, 2006 2:14 pm

I think its funny. It's not like he is forcing anyone to listen to it.
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