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"World's Funniest Joke"

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Postby Manja » Wed Apr 26, 2006 9:51 pm

This one is the funniest joke.. or, at least according to Monty Python...

Two peanuts were walking down the street, and one was assaulted.... peanut. Heh, heh...

Get it? "A salted" peanut?
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Postby MCG321 » Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:28 pm

lol, plenty of good stuff in this thread.

I love the golfing one in the original post - gotta have your priorities straight!

;-D ;-D
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:48 am

George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld
are flying on Air Force One.
The President looks at the Vice President,
chuckles, and says, "you know, I could throw a $1,000
bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."
The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I
could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make
10 people very happy."
Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense
says, "Of course , then, I could throw 100 $10 bills
out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his
co-pilot, "Such arrogant guys back there. Hell, I could
throw the three of them out
the window and make 200 million people really
happy."
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Postby knapplc » Thu Apr 27, 2006 8:06 am

Omaha Red Sox wrote:"I could throw the three of them out the window and make 200 million people really happy."

That's a good one I haven't heard before. ;-D
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How 'bout them Huskers!
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Postby Verdun Barbarians » Thu Apr 27, 2006 8:26 am

Omaha Red Sox wrote:"Hell, I could
throw the three of them out
the window and make 200 million people really
happy."


I think there'd be quite more than 200 million happy... Image
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Postby SwiperNoSwiping » Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:45 am

OK here's one. Heard this one just yesterday. It was pretty good.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens
when you first meet someone and
you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for a short
time and you are so horny you will
have sex anywhere, even in the
kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for a long
time. Your sex has gotten routine
and you usually have sex only in
your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for too
long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say "screw
you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
which means you get
Nun in the morning, Nun in the
afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you
cannot stand your wife any more.
She takes you to court and screws
you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th
kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough
to live on.
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Postby mutantseabass » Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:49 am

Omaha Red Sox wrote:George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld
are flying on Air Force One.
The President looks at the Vice President,
chuckles, and says, "you know, I could throw a $1,000
bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."
The Vice President shrugs and says, "Well, I
could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make
10 people very happy."
Not to be outdone, the Secretary of Defense
says, "Of course , then, I could throw 100 $10 bills
out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes and says to his
co-pilot, "Such arrogant guys back there. Hell, I could
throw the three of them out
the window and make 200 million people really
happy."



This is my new favorite joke!!
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Postby dream_017 » Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:49 am

SwiperNoSwiping wrote:OK here's one. Heard this one just yesterday. It was pretty good.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens
when you first meet someone and
you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for a short
time and you are so horny you will
have sex anywhere, even in the
kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for a long
time. Your sex has gotten routine
and you usually have sex only in
your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for too
long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say "screw
you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
which means you get
Nun in the morning, Nun in the
afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you
cannot stand your wife any more.
She takes you to court and screws
you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th
kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough
to live on.


Very nice ;-D
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Postby mutantseabass » Thu Apr 27, 2006 10:07 am

SwiperNoSwiping wrote:OK here's one. Heard this one just yesterday. It was pretty good.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens
when you first meet someone and
you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for a short
time and you are so horny you will
have sex anywhere, even in the
kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for a long
time. Your sex has gotten routine
and you usually have sex only in
your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
This is when you have
been with your partner for too
long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say "screw
you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
which means you get
Nun in the morning, Nun in the
afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex.
This is when you
cannot stand your wife any more.
She takes you to court and screws
you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th
kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough
to live on.



Im all too familiar with 4,5 and 7


Funny joke Swipe! :-b
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