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TO THE MOON ALICE...

Postby The Balanced Man » Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:27 pm

[rant]

My wife says she hates her job and wants a new one. Fine with me, so she starts sending out resumes.

She has an interview tomorrow for one that pays $18,000 less per year. She really wants it. She thinks she will enjoy it.

In reality, she hates every job she works at after about 6-8 months. So, shes taking a paycut to hate her job again in 6 months.

Shes already played the "You don't want me to take the job because you care more about money than my happiness" card.

I, personally, would never take a job for substantially less money, even if I HATED my job. In fact, I am not too fond of my job, but I'm not jumping ship if I get offered less cash.

Oh well...
[/rant]
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Postby moonhead » Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:30 pm

just smile and know she loves you.


or grin and bear it.


or take to drink, go to shrinks, etc.

women, you can't live with them. and you can't live with them.
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Postby The_Captain » Thu Apr 20, 2006 1:35 pm

I was faced with something similar several years ago. My wife was unhappy in corporate america and really wanted to stay home with our two daughters and work on her home-based business. For the 5 years after our eldest daughter's birth she was very unhappy which carried over into the family dynamic (making me miserable). Finally a couple of years ago, we went out to dinner (kids were with the sitter) so we could talk about it again.

I came to this conclusion and this is what I told her - "I've been living with unhappy wife for 8 years and if you quitting your job to do what you want to do is going to make you happy then do it. Because I would rather spend the rest of my life with happy wife than unhappy wife". It has worked out great and my wife has said it was the best thing she did.

I understand where you're coming from TBM but you have to look at it from her perspective and try to understand. It is tough but there comes a point where her unhappiness will take a serious withdrawl on the two of you and you certainly don't want her resenting you for pushing her a different way. I can certainly appreciate your point b/c I've been there too.
Last edited by The_Captain on Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Dan Lambskin » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:14 pm

dames... :-t
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Postby onnestabe » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:23 pm

TBM, I see where you are coming from, and I don't pretend to know the whole situation, but I just left a job that I hated for another job that wasn't technically a paycut, but it does limit my earning potential over the long term.

So far I love the change. I get home between 5:30 and 6:00 (6:30 and 8:00 at the old job), so now I have time to cook dinner at night and work out in the mornings. I think it is OK to take less money if your overall quality of life is going to be better - then it's just like you are paying someone else for your own time.
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Postby knapplc » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:43 pm

onnestabe wrote:TBM, I see where you are coming from, and I don't pretend to know the whole situation, but I just left a job that I hated for another job that wasn't technically a paycut, but it does limit my earning potential over the long term.

So far I love the change. I get home between 5:30 and 6:00 (6:30 and 8:00 at the old job), so now I have time to cook dinner at night and work out in the mornings. I think it is OK to take less money if your overall quality of life is going to be better - then it's just like you are paying someone else for your own time.


That's really the key - does the loss in finances outweigh the gain in personal happiness? Like Captain said, I'd much rather have my wife working in a job that makes her happy for the next 30 years than one that makes her unhappy (and hard to live with) for the next 30.

TBM, you've got to figure out if, financially, you can afford the cut in salary. No matter how much your current combined income you're going to have to adjust your lifestyle to the new income. Is the adjustment going to be too severe for you to handle? Is the adjustment going to strain your relationship with the change in lifestyle? Those are your big questions.

If you can afford it, and if it will make her that much happier, be happy for her. If it’s not financially viable, show it to her on paper and let her see for herself.

If you do all this and she’s still not seeing the light, I think you have no choice but to fake your own death. :-D
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:49 pm

If you're sure she's going to hate her job again in 6 months, why don't you offer to reduce your cost of living and suggest she stay at home?
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Postby jayday » Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:01 pm

Just hope she realizes the financial ramifications of this....I'd certainly be sure she realizes how much 18k will affect you guys....
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:03 pm

jayday wrote:Just hope she realizes the financial ramifications of this....I'd certainly be sure she realizes how much 18k will affect you guys....


That is an awfully large step down. What job is she dropping and what job is she going after?
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Postby The Balanced Man » Fri Apr 21, 2006 7:41 am

Omaha Red Sox wrote:
jayday wrote:Just hope she realizes the financial ramifications of this....I'd certainly be sure she realizes how much 18k will affect you guys....


That is an awfully large step down. What job is she dropping and what job is she going after?


Yea, we will be able to get by, but it certainly kills any financial freedom we had.

She is going from working at a large bankruptcy law firm to the Public Defenders office.



The interview is in 20 minutes... :-o :-o
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