Things are sick and twisted
From too much sun and Nazis
Sex, meth, and death fetishes
Both of them have got these
Guaranteed not to bore ya
German-yyy or Florida
And now, on to our show...
SOMEWHERE ON PLANET EARTH - A man who unsuccessfully tried to kill himself by jumping in front of a train must pay compensation for the damage he caused, a court ruled Tuesday.
A spokesman for the court said the 47-year-old man leapt too late to land under the train and instead crashed through the side window of the driver's cabin. He suffered head wounds but no other lasting physical injuries, the court said.
The driver of the train suffered shock and was unable to work for several weeks.
''Although the man was not guilty of a crime, there is a rule in the civil code which means that for reasons of equity, he had to pay for part of the damage,'' the spokesman said.
For repairs to the train and lost wages for the driver, authorities sued for damages of some $5,325. The court ordered the man to pay half the sum.
What a buffoon. Not only is he unsuccessful in killing himself, he's gotta pay to repair the damages he caused to the car.
This gives a whole new meaning to "I've gotta catch the train."