Things are sick and twisted
From too much sun and Nazis
Sex, meth, and death fetishes
Both of them have got these
Guaranteed not to bore ya
German-yyy or Florida
Other GoF Themes
And now, on to our show...
Individually tailored condoms that are anatomically designed to fit each penis perfectly will be going on sale soon.
A 36-year-old businessman is behind Lust for Life, which has invented a system to make personalized prophylactics.
Using a machine that measures each member to produce a unique 3D computer image, the entrepreneur then lets his customers choose the thickness of the condom and add extra details.
He said: "These condoms will fit so well you will hardly notice you are wearing one. We can make them wafer thin or fist thick and 'engrave' them with your signature wrapped around the base."
The service will cost around $11,000 for a "large but an as yet unspecified number" but he insists the price is worth it as his condoms are comfier and safer.
"Engraved with your signature?"
Just don't get them engraved with, say, your girlfriend's name. If you split up, Rebound Girl may not take it too kindly that you're using someone else's special love socks.
And, for over one grand, you'd better be getting a lifetime supply of these things.