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Postby J2thez929 » Mon Jun 19, 2006 2:40 pm

mutantseabass wrote:Sorry to hear about your troubles man, the only thing i could add to your situation is at least you found out before actually getting married. Its rough now but life works itself out.


MSB has some good points. As hard as it is, it was better to happen now then after 5 years of marriage. Have you talked to her since? Sounds like a total BS thing to do while on vacation in Vegas!
Stay strong bro and things WILL work out for you. If it's meant to be then it will happen. If not, things will work out to where it will be 10 times better than you would ever imagine.
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Postby onnestabe » Mon Jun 19, 2006 2:54 pm

Thanks for the sympathy and kind words guys. I knew I could count on you - now if only some of you could go easy on me in my cafe leagues :-b

We have talked a bit since Vegas, since we were living together (she moved out until I could find a new place, thankfully), but not about anything very important. She would try to tell me that she did it for me, as if she was selling me on the idea of throwing any plans I had for the future out the window.

MSB is right, and I have thought about that. But while it is good to go through this before marriage, a house, and kids, it would have been even better to do it before I changed jobs and moved so far away from everything familiar.

As far as the Vegas stuff, she did try to wait until after the trip to tell me (so as not to ruin it for me), although it would have been better had she just made up an excuse not to come at all.

And Jimboozie - you are right about football. I need some serious diversions right now to keep my mind occupied with other stuff, and I know of no better time-waster than fantasy football. If I could come up with a decent idea for a front page article, I would start writing it right now.

Anyway, I am trying my best to move on, but I was never very good with women, and it's even harder now without the college social structure. I am giving Houston about six months before I decide to stay or go (then the buy out amount will be down to around $3-4k - much more manageable).
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Postby Twisted Sister » Mon Jun 19, 2006 2:57 pm

Take it from my painful experience... better off finding out now than after getting married. The way that went down was just plain cruel and disrespectful - on her part. You did nothing wrong.

I'm assuming she's young (by the maturity level described)... personally, I'd wait till both myself and the lady were around 30 before getting married.

Men may go through a mid-life crisis in their 40s, but for women it happens in their late 20s / early 30s. You're really rolling the dice on how they turn out.

Divorce rates dramatically drop off for as age at marriage increases.

As for the relocation and job... maybe you should just see what life has to offer there... you never know, you could meet Mrs. Right (when you're ready).

Sorry to hear about it... traumatic stuff.
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Postby Twisted Sister » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:04 pm

onnestabe wrote:She would try to tell me that she did it for me, as if she was selling me on the idea of throwing any plans I had for the future out the window.


yeah, that one brings back memories. She did it for herself, plain and simple. You will benefit though, because there's nothing worse than to married to a spouse who is constantly unhappy.

I'm assuming she gave back the ring... if she didn't, kindly ask for it back (if it's of significant value). When you're hurting, it's easy to be taken advantage of or to write those things off.
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Postby Sixxgunn » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:06 pm

Damn man, that's rough. If you are anything at all like me, it's going to be hard to get going again. Whatever happens, don't become that guy that does whatever the next woman tells him to do, because he won't risk losing another one. I did that once, and it sucks. That isn't who you are (unless that is who who were), and it will only make you miserable in the long run. Stay strong, stay patient, and definitely don't date for awhile. At this point, no one will measure up, and you will need time to heal. Good luck man, and know most of us have been there with you to some degree, at some point in our lives, so you aren't alone.
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Postby onnestabe » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:08 pm

Twisted Sister wrote:
onnestabe wrote:She would try to tell me that she did it for me, as if she was selling me on the idea of throwing any plans I had for the future out the window.


yeah, that one brings back memories. She did it for herself, plain and simple. You will benefit though, because there's nothing worse than to married to a spouse who is constantly unhappy.

I'm assuming she gave back the ring... if she didn't, kindly ask for it back (if it's of significant value). When you're hurting, it's easy to be taken advantage of or to write those things off.


I got it before I left Vegas - I plan on selling it and buying me-self something nice with a portion of the proceeds...perhaps a massage chair? (Not really, I actually just bought an mp3 player last night - it is sweeeett)
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Postby mikus » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:09 pm

Doesn't it suck to be human sometimes? All those damn emotions and feelings and crap ... I am sorry to hear this Danny. I will do my best to keep you occupied in our league, and if there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask (unless it is for sex, haha).
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Postby onnestabe » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:11 pm

mikus wrote:Doesn't it suck to be human sometimes? All those damn emotions and feelings and crap ... I am sorry to hear this Danny. I will do my best to keep you occupied in our league, and if there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask (unless it is for sex, haha).


Sorry, Mike, you're not my type - I prefer a little more cushion for the pushin' than you can offer....

Did I really just say that? :-? :-P
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Postby Flockers » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:16 pm

Since you bought a new MP3 player, you should get this song.

No Suprise by Theory of a Deadman

This song sounds like what you're going through.

Friday is when you left me
So I'll drink myself to sleep
And Sunday is when I'll wake up
Not to remember a thing

My friends all say the same thing
I don't know my new girl too well
(I know)
That all this lying gets to me
And no one seems to give a shit
(The way)
She talks to every guy in the bar
(I guess)
It should've raised some kind of alarm
Who'd ever think I'd go and end up?
Like all the other guys that you're gunning for!

Well it ain't no surprise
That you turn me on and leave
It ain't no surprise
That you turn it around on me
I don't know why
You won't give me what I need
It ain't no surprise
That that bitch is leavin' me

My friends are mean to me
They say I don't break up too well
(They know)
All this crying gets to me
And no one seems to give a shit
Well I know you want to
So go on and say it
Just go on and say it
Just go on and say it

Well it ain't no surprise
That you turn me on and leave
It ain't no surprise
That you turn it around on me
I don't know why
You won't give me what I need
It ain't no surprise
That that bitch is leavin' me
(Leavin' me)

Friday is when you left me
So I drank myself to sleep
And Sunday I never woke up

Well it ain't no surprise
That you turn me on and leave
It ain't no surprise
That you turn it around on me
I don't know why
You won't give me what I need
It ain't no surprise
That that bitch is leavin' me
That that bitch is leavin' me
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Postby Twisted Sister » Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:18 pm

Sixxgunn wrote:Stay strong, stay patient, and definitely don't date for awhile. At this point, no one will measure up, and you will need time to heal.


Definately agree. However, he's like blood in the water... they'll come out of the woodwork.

It's so hard to avoid this, I was sure I would avoid it... but failed.
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