A few days ago I was having some work done at the local Ford Dealership. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there.
He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"
She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there.
So there were two blondes on a roof, pounding nails. One of them pounded a nail in, then picked up another. She was holding the nail upside down. She unexpectedly threw the nail away. She picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. She eventually threw so many upside down nails away, that her friend came over. "Eh, what you doing? How come you're throwing away all those nails?" she asked. "Because they're upside down," the friend replied. The other girl looks at the friend, then, after some thought, says, "You Idiot, save them for the ceiling!"
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interviews looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"The blondes all nodded.The detective got up, opened a file drawer. and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it. pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to observe. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features, and oddities such as scars or tattoos"
So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man? "The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!"The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!"The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?""Yes! He only has one ear!"The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!"The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but . . " He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?"The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses."The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began sifting through some of the papers still in the folder until he found the one he wanted. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts!How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?"the blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, duh! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses!"