Why It's Tough Being A Man - Fantasy Football Cafe 2014 Fantasy Football Cafe


Return to General Talk

Why It's Tough Being A Man

Moderator: Football Moderators

Why It's Tough Being A Man

Postby knapplc » Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:16 pm

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a pansy. If you work too hard there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp. If you don’t, you’re an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination. If she asks you, it’s a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re pervert. If you don’t, you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist. If you don’t, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something. If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re full of yourself. If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a head ache, she’s tired. If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you’re oversexed. if you don’t, there must be someone else.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! …….. THEY WANT TO!!
Image
How 'bout them Huskers!
knapplc
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe RankerGolden Eagle EyeCafe MusketeerCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 18961
Joined: 27 Dec 2004
Home Cafe: Football
Location: It's an L, not an I

Postby Jimboozie » Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:25 pm

Ain't that the truth!

Women: can't live with em, can't chop them up into little pieces and place them in the freezer.
Jimboozie Beginner
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe MusketeerSweet 16 SurvivorCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 12527
Joined: 6 Oct 2004
Home Cafe: Football

Postby J2thez929 » Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:41 pm

Amen to that! Women are darn near impossible creatures to figure out. Just think, if we didnt like the poontang, life would be much less complicated...
J2thez929
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyePick 3 Weekly WinnerSweet 16 SurvivorCafe Blackjack Weekly WinnerLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 8041
Joined: 6 Nov 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: C-Town, OH - Dawg Bone Country

Postby mrblitz » Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:45 pm

True!! The entire list is as accurate as can be. LOL :-b
Image


Call em as I see em!
mrblitz
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle Eye
Posts: 12770
Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Having a coffee at the fantasy cafe.

Postby knapplc » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:01 pm

More Truth:

The Husband Store

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - "You a re visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day."

And yes, I know this has been posted at the Cafe before. But it's appropriate here. ;-)
Image
How 'bout them Huskers!
knapplc
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe RankerGolden Eagle EyeCafe MusketeerCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 18961
Joined: 27 Dec 2004
Home Cafe: Football
Location: It's an L, not an I

Postby RWLongy4 » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:01 pm

haha, very true... fun read ;-D
RWLongy4
General Manager
General Manager

User avatar
Cafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle Eye
Posts: 3118
(Past Year: 1)
Joined: 24 Nov 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Miami University (OH)

Postby aldridg6in » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:28 pm

Women are evil, men are stupid. A college roommate of mine always said that and it's pretty true.
aldridg6in
Offensive Coordinator
Offensive Coordinator

User avatar

Posts: 889
Joined: 22 Jun 2006
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Faith, NC

Re: Why It's Tough Being A Man

Postby Azrael » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:32 pm

knapplc wrote:If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re pervert (and you might be gay). If you don’t, you’re gay.



:-b
Image
Azrael
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe WriterMock(ing) Drafter
Posts: 8283
(Past Year: 7)
Joined: 29 Jun 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Keeping da cafe sucka free for 9 years straight

Postby stomperrob » Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:03 pm

...and married men don't live longer - it only seems longer!!!
Image
Fantasy Football: "Luck is where preparation meets opportunity"
stomperrob
Moderator
Moderator

User avatar
ModeratorCafeholicFantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyePick 3 ChampionMatchup Meltdown SurvivorLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 13579
(Past Year: 138)
Joined: 19 Mar 2004
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Steeler Nation!!!

Postby Metroid » Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:12 pm

Jimboozie wrote:Ain't that the truth!

Women: can't live with em, can't chop them up into little pieces and place them in the freezer.


Dood thats kinda like one of my favorite jokes....

I like my women the same way I like my coffee......ground up and in the freezer. ;-D
Image
Metroid
Moderator
Moderator

User avatar
ModeratorCafeholicCafe RankerGraphics ExpertEagle Eye
Posts: 22544
Joined: 9 Oct 2005
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Bringing the funk in P-Town!

Next

Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Start & Sit Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Get Ready...
The 2014 NFL season kicks off in 9:45 hours
(and 37 days)
2014 NFL Schedule


  • Fantasy Football
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact