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Wonderlic test to be revised

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Wonderlic test to be revised

Postby stomperrob » Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:32 am

Since so many football players have trouble with this test (not Wolverines of course), the University of Michigan has come up with a test that is more relevant to the student athlete (keep in mind this version came out in March if it seems dated in parts):

Maybe the problem is that such tests are administered for the first time right before these players go pro, with millions of dollars on the line, instead of players getting a taste of such testing out of high school. Thus, we here at the M Zone have come up with...


The M Zone Collegiate Wonderlic Test
Here is a sampling of questions:

1. If the Ohio State tailback gets $42,000 from a Buckeye booster but the Escalade he wants is $57,000, he should:

a) Buy a different SUV
b) Take a job he doesn't have to show up for from another booster to cover the difference
c) Ask Maurice Clarett to borrow one for him
d) Transfer to an SEC school with more generous boosters

2. Texas A&M scores 46 points against Miami in a bowl game. How many staff members will Larry Coker fire the next week?

3. If Joe Paterno's team loses a close game, how long before his players will be allowed to talk to the media again? Bonus: How long will Penn State fans complain on their message boards?

4. Which of these numbers in the following group is the largest?

a) 10 x 14 x 5
b) 632
c) 1,000 - 275 + 30
d) Charlie Weis' cholesterol level

5. A linebacker is 21. The underage girl he sleeps with is 16. At Tennessee, how many plays against a non-conference team would he have to miss as punishment?

6. If ESPN's Gameday crew were to go to Arkansas to cover a game, how much netting would be needed to protect Kirk, Lee and Chris Fowler from objects thrown by Razorback fans?

a) none
b) 200 feet
c) all Home Depot sells in a three city area
d) Trick question: Gameday would never go to Arkansas

7. Marcus Vick runs a 4.3 and Maurice Clarett runs a 4.48 but the 9mm Glock hidden in Vick's waistband is heavier. Who has a better chance of out-running the cops and evading arrest?

8. If the world's largest sequoia tree is almost 3,000 years old and the earth's crust is 5 billion years old, how old is Bobby Bowden if he started coaching before either?

9. If Michigan has a 12 point lead with under 9 minutes left in the game, how much time will be left on the clock when the opposing team scores the winning touchdown?

a) 3 minutes
b) 1 minute
c) :35 seconds
d) none, last play of the game and immediately named ESPN Instant Classic

10. Your team's stadium holds 96,000 fans but regularly only sells 32,000 tickets to its home games. How long will it take the team bus to drive back to Westwood?

11. Which would be more unbearable: Spending a hot day in the stall of Ralphie, the Colorado Buff mascot, or driving across Kansas in a vinyl-seated, non-air conditioned '73 Nova with Jayhawks coach Mark Mangino. Explain.

12. If you watch two hours of ESPN pre-game, four hours of post-game and six versions of SportsCenter during which Beano Cook appears 15% of each broadcast, how many times will you want to gouge your eyes out with a tongue depressor?

13. Floyd of Rosedale is:

a) Barney Fife's neighbor from the old ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW
b) The current WWF champion
c) A college football trophy as coveted as winning a giant stuffed animal at the state fair

14. If a Onepeat.com LSU fan wastes 60% of each day stewing over the shared title with USC in 2003, how many hours will he have left each week to not date women?

15. The ninth month of the year is:

a) June
b) January
c) November
d) The time when the Kappa Kappa Gamma girls arrive back on campus to start doing your homework again

EXTRA CREDIT: If Lou Holtz is brought in to rebuild your program, how many years of NCAA probation will your school receive when he leaves?

Labels: best of the mzone



;-) :-D
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Postby A Fleshner Fantasy » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:03 am

Nice, maybe Vince Young could pass it now ;-D
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Thanks to abrunn for the awesome sig
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Postby deerayfan072 » Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:24 am

A Fleshner Fantasy wrote:Nice, maybe Vince Young could pass it now ;-D


Probably not :-D ;-)
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Postby daullaz » Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:32 am

God, Vince Young. I remember all the attention that guy got for posting a low score. He must have flamed out pretty bad. He's no Ryan Fitzpatrick, that's for sure.

I wonder what happened to Young? Can anyone help out? Is he mopping the floors of Garrison Hall?
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Postby CC » Sat Dec 30, 2006 11:58 am

Colin Cowherd jacked this verbatim on his talk show and took credit for it, and then when he was called out about it he refused to apologize.

Colin Cowherd is a massive tool.
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Postby stomperrob » Sat Dec 30, 2006 7:44 pm

daullaz wrote:God, Vince Young. I remember all the attention that guy got for posting a low score. He must have flamed out pretty bad. He's no Ryan Fitzpatrick, that's for sure.

I wonder what happened to Young? Can anyone help out? Is he mopping the floors of Garrison Hall?


And what about when his kids come to him for help with their homework and he can't answer their questions when they ask "Daddy, what's 2+2=?" or "Daddy, how do you spell cat?" But then he has the money to hire them a private tutor. Why would anyone want anything as useless as an education when they can play football??? Better to model yourself after Dexter Manley - make it through university and be a pro football player while reading at a grade 3 level - jeez, I know I'd be proud to say that! ;-7
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Postby daullaz » Sat Dec 30, 2006 8:37 pm

stomperrob wrote:
daullaz wrote:God, Vince Young. I remember all the attention that guy got for posting a low score. He must have flamed out pretty bad. He's no Ryan Fitzpatrick, that's for sure.

I wonder what happened to Young? Can anyone help out? Is he mopping the floors of Garrison Hall?


And what about when his kids come to him for help with their homework and he can't answer their questions when they ask "Daddy, what's 2+2=?" or "Daddy, how do you spell cat?" But then he has the money to hire them a private tutor. Why would anyone want anything as useless as an education when they can play football??? Better to model yourself after Dexter Manley - make it through university and be a pro football player while reading at a grade 3 level - jeez, I know I'd be proud to say that! ;-7


The Wonderlic test isn't exactly the best way to determine someone's intelligence.
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Postby eman » Sat Dec 30, 2006 8:52 pm

^True, but it doesn't take a Wonderlic test to know that VY is less intelligent than most inner city middle schoolers.
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Postby stomperrob » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:05 pm

daullaz wrote:
stomperrob wrote:
daullaz wrote:God, Vince Young. I remember all the attention that guy got for posting a low score. He must have flamed out pretty bad. He's no Ryan Fitzpatrick, that's for sure.

I wonder what happened to Young? Can anyone help out? Is he mopping the floors of Garrison Hall?


And what about when his kids come to him for help with their homework and he can't answer their questions when they ask "Daddy, what's 2+2=?" or "Daddy, how do you spell cat?" But then he has the money to hire them a private tutor. Why would anyone want anything as useless as an education when they can play football??? Better to model yourself after Dexter Manley - make it through university and be a pro football player while reading at a grade 3 level - jeez, I know I'd be proud to say that! ;-7


The Wonderlic test isn't exactly the best way to determine someone's intelligence.


Yeh, all tests have their drawbacks but the fact remains these universities are still turning out funtionially illiterate kids by whatever standard you use. I think it's damn embarassing when you see these kids interviewed or NFL players interviewed and they can't even speak proper English - guys with 3 or 4 years university and they can't even speak English at a middle school level, let alone even high school - even my son who's in grade 9 notices it. The schools and the athletes themselves should be ashamed. Some of these kids aren't going to be professional athletes and they're not being prepared for the real world. There's no reason they can't be educated and play football too - the kids in the service academies (Army, Navy, Air Force) have grueling academic schedules as well as other duties and still have plenty of time for football. I just think someone with a university education should be able to speak English at the very least - that doesn't seem like a lot to ask! Just a pet peeve of mine.
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Postby eman » Sat Dec 30, 2006 9:19 pm

I remember the first time I saw Devin Hester talking I was shocked. He was having trouble responding to simple questions and was not pronouncing things correctly and using improper/incorrect words repeatedly. I guess thats what you get when you go to Miami though.
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