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REALLY kicked in the balls

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REALLY kicked in the balls

Postby citybirds27 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:33 pm

It hurts

Any opinions? :-b

(this thread is for humorous stories of this incident)
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Re: REALLY kicked in the balls

Postby Art Vandelay » Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:52 pm

citybirds27 wrote:It hurts

Any opinions? :-b

(this thread is for humorous stories of this incident)


That's an oxymoron. There are no humorous stories of getting kicked in the balls.
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Postby Metroid » Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:55 pm

I've sat on one of my testicles before. 8-o Anyone ever do that? Its actually easier to do than you'd think. :-b
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Re: REALLY kicked in the balls

Postby citybirds27 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:06 pm

Art Vandelay wrote:
citybirds27 wrote:It hurts

Any opinions? :-b

(this thread is for humorous stories of this incident)


That's an oxymoron. There are no humorous stories of getting kicked in the balls.


I mean for the rest of us :-b

(Your pain is our gain)
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Postby lmcjaho » Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:39 pm

I agree - it hurts.

As a matter of fact, that is one of the few reasons I have ever hit a woman in my life...

I was about 13 and one of the girls in my homeroom class was very conspicuously stuffing her bra - I mean, we're talking A-cup to C-cup literally overnight.... So anyway - being the smartaleck that I am, I walk over and ask her for some Kleenex, to which she replies:

"Sorry, I don't have any."

With a long, meaningful stare at her bosom area I reply "Really? Could have fooled me!" at which point she attempts to kick me in the junk. I say attempts because as a youth I was a bit of a scrapper (came from skipping grade 1 so I was always a bit out of place with my so-called peers and I didn't have the wisdom to keep my smartass mouth shut despite the fact I was always giving up 10lbs-plus to anyone in my class) and I instinctively blocked with the old down-turned-knee move and I riposted with a straight jab right to the snout - it was pure action-begets-reaction and if I had thought it through I would probably not have done it...

So here's this girl with a mashed-up bleeding nose, standing in the middle of the hallway crying her eyes out while she pulls tissue from her bra to stem the tide of blood, and I'm standing there with that UH-OH look on my face - you know, this one ---> :-o

Up walks our history teacher, who immediately demands to know what happened, and I reply quickly before she can stop sniffling and condemn me - "She tried to kick me in the junk and I bopped her in the nose for it!!" fully expecting the hammer to fall anyway.

He took a half-second to think about it, asked her if what I said was true, and when she confirmed it he just said "Don't do it again - either of you," and walked away.

She didn't, I didn't, and a couple of years later when her boobs actually did fill in a C-cup on their own we actually went out a couple of times... She was just as much of a psycho then though so I broke it off...
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Postby sox 06 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:49 pm

lmcjaho wrote:I agree - it hurts.

As a matter of fact, that is one of the few reasons I have ever hit a woman in my life...

I was about 13 and one of the girls in my homeroom class was very conspicuously stuffing her bra - I mean, we're talking A-cup to C-cup literally overnight.... So anyway - being the smartaleck that I am, I walk over and ask her for some Kleenex, to which she replies:

"Sorry, I don't have any."

With a long, meaningful stare at her bosom area I reply "Really? Could have fooled me!" at which point she attempts to kick me in the junk. I say attempts because as a youth I was a bit of a scrapper (came from skipping grade 1 so I was always a bit out of place with my so-called peers and I didn't have the wisdom to keep my smartass mouth shut despite the fact I was always giving up 10lbs-plus to anyone in my class) and I instinctively blocked with the old down-turned-knee move and I riposted with a straight jab right to the snout - it was pure action-begets-reaction and if I had thought it through I would probably not have done it...

So here's this girl with a mashed-up bleeding nose, standing in the middle of the hallway crying her eyes out while she pulls tissue from her bra to stem the tide of blood, and I'm standing there with that UH-OH look on my face - you know, this one ---> :-o

Up walks our history teacher, who immediately demands to know what happened, and I reply quickly before she can stop sniffling and condemn me - "She tried to kick me in the junk and I bopped her in the nose for it!!" fully expecting the hammer to fall anyway.

He took a half-second to think about it, asked her if what I said was true, and when she confirmed it he just said "Don't do it again - either of you," and walked away.

She didn't, I didn't, and a couple of years later when her boobs actually did fill in a C-cup on their own we actually went out a couple of times... She was just as much of a psycho then though so I broke it off...

That was so funny :-b I can't believe she went out with you after your made fun of her then popped her in the face. 8-o
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Postby aaawall91 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:02 pm

Alright, as a hockey goalie I get hit in the junk every now and again, but my cup usually does a pretty good job of softening the blow, not this time, (I wear a normal player cup and not a goalie one, because the goalei one seems so restriciting to my moving, and so player cups seem to slip easier) and it slipped to the right a little, and boom shot comes, right on my left...side....wasn;t a hard shot, simple little wrist shot, but it hit dead on, and KILLED, I was laying on the ice for a good 20 minutes in pain, it was bad, thank god it was just a goalie session, not a game. I felt the effects for a week.
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Postby Flux » Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:11 pm

on a school bus
....
hit a bump
....
Flux goes airborn
...
lands on testicle
...
tears form
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Postby Guru13 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 3:50 pm

2 stories! o boy! you guys better sit down, story time!!!!!!


ok #1: I was a catcher for quite some time and when I was like 13 I believe, it was like the 5th inning or something and we were losing (my dad, head coach, wasn't there) and I call for a fastball, but for some reason, when he threw it, I got really disoriented and like couldn't see well and *WHAM* right in the junk, now yes I had a cup on but sheesh! it was terrible, and since my dad wasn't there, the coach was like "umm...you ok?....um", just layed there for a few minutes, composed myself and carried on, but I almost didn't want to be back there for awhile.


#2: not me my cousin, so he was playin' paintball with his friends, where they play a 2 on 1 thing, the guy that's by himself (cousin), goes and hides while other 2 try to find him, well they found him and he took off running, kinda fell and was in a sitting position when *WHACK* right in the junk, he told me it swelled up like a walnut, and couldn't hardly walk for a week! :-o
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Postby beanoX3 » Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:51 pm

Couple years ago, when the West Nile virus scare was at its peak, my mom got bitten by a misquito that swelled up like crazy and ended up about the size of a cantaloupe. I took her to the emergency room, and while I was waiting, a highschool kid and his mom came in. While the mom was filling out forms, the kid was standing all awkward and couldn't sit when the mom asked if he could.

Well, both my mom and the kid got called at the same time, and I overheard what the problem was for the kid. Apparently, he racked himself fooling around in the highschool gymnastic room, specifically on the parallel bars. And it was severe enough that the highschool training staff called the mom to take the kid to the emergency room, lol. We ended up in the waiting room together again to wait for the doctor, when his dad came. Dad was asking even more embarassing questions loud enough for the whole waiting room to hear. It was even better when the doctor came to discuss the nurse's observations.

Seems like he racked himself so hard that his left nut receded into his pelvis, lol. He went into surgery (apparently, the swelling was bad enough that he had to) while my mom just got some stuff to put on her leg and a shot (wasn't West Nile, thank God) and while we were getting ready to leave, the doctor came back out to update the parents of the kid. Again, half the room overheard, and what happened was after his left nut receded, it twisted cords with the right nut, which was why the swelling occured. Something was blocked off, but the doctor said they fixed it without having to removed either of his balls.

LOL. Most of the guys in the room who heard kinda chuckled, and the parents finally realized that everyone nearby could hear. They also smiled, and that was the last I saw of them.
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