Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
I Love you.
He goes to the kitchen. Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper await him. His son is also at the table, eating. The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."
Confused, the man asks, "So why is everything in order and so clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted, "LADY, GET YOUR DAMNED HANDS OFF OF ME! I'M MARRIED!"