Karoz at a Casino (after losing a $50 million bet) wrote:Dear blackjack dealer,
Thank you for dealing the cards. After careful consideration, I have decided to decline your offer of myself having to pay a sum of $50 million dollars to the Casino. While it is an extremely generous offer, I don't feel as if I should accept it.
You see, I am a very fortunate man, for I get offers such as these from various Casinos on a daily basis...
George, drinking tea in his apartment with his girlfriend: "I-I've given this a lot of thought. I'm sorry, but we, uh, we have to break up." Maura: "No." George, after hesitating: "What's that?" Maura: "We're not breaking up." George, after hesitating: "We're not?" Maura: "No." George, after hesitating even longer: "All right."
George, in his apartment with Maura: "And so, for all these reasons, we are officially broken up. Thank you, and good night." Maura: "No, George, we're not." George: "But I proved it!" Maura: "I refuse to give up on this relationship. It's like launching missiles from a submarine. Both of use have to turn our keys." George: "Well, then, I am gonna have to ask you to turn your key." Maura: "I'm sorry, George, I can't do that." George: "Turn your key, Maura. Turn your key!"
George, in his mind: "I think that ginger ale at the coffee shop is just Coke and Sprite mixed together. How can I prove it? Ah! Can't, dammit." Maura, coming in George's apartment: "Hey, Honey." George: "What? M-Maura, what are you doin' here? I ended this relationship, twice." Maura: "George, you didn't mean that. That was just a fight." George: "Why does it only seem like I'm the only one working at this breakup?" Maura: "George, I listened to your arguments, and they were rambling and flimsy. I'm not convinced. Come on, get dressed and let's get some dinner." George: "All right." Maura: "Eww, Mr. Apple. You have a brown spot."
George, at Monk's with Loretta: "The, uh, actor that played Jesus made some odd choices." Loretta: "What?" George: "I mean, uh... I had fun ice skating." Maura, entering Monk's: "George?" George: "Maura. Oh, my God! What are you doing here?!" Maura: "You told me to meet you here for lunch." George, standing up and overreacting: "Oh, I'm caught in my own web of lies!" Maura, to Loretta: "I'm Maura." Loretta, to Maura: "I'm Loretta. You want to join us?" George: "This is all blowing up in my face! My serious girlfriend, and my torrid love affair have accidentally crossed paths. I have ruined three lives. Well, I understand if you never want to see me again, so..." Maura: "George, what we have is too important. We can work through this." Loretta: "So can we." George: "What? So, this is still not over?" Maura: "No." George: "You?" Loretta: "No." George, reluctantly sitting down: "All right."