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help with a crappy situation

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Postby stomperrob » Mon Jun 04, 2007 1:09 am

vitalogist wrote:thanks for all the kind words guys.

for starters, yes adultery was committed many times. it wasnt that that broke the deal for me it was all the lying and deceit that she did.

after reading up on the laws, 1) even though i earned the bulk of the money she is entitled to 50% and 2) the adultery is not going to count against her since this is a "no-fault" state. so that blows. so i'm definitely calling a lawyer tomorrow and i'm going to find out what i can do.

what's most important to me is earning no less than joint custody of my 5 and 2 year old sons, meaning they are with me 50% of the time and her 50% of the time. i havent decided to fight for custodial status or not. i'll keep everyone posted and thanks again for all the support.


That's exactly what happened in my case so I have an idea what you must be going through. It's not easy, but hang in there! Just remember we're always here.
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Postby suppasonic » Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:00 am

Get a bank account in your name only and transfer funds into it before the divorce? Take things out of the safety deposit box that you dont want her to have.
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Postby Plindsey88 » Mon Jun 04, 2007 6:49 am

vitalogist wrote:thanks for all the kind words guys.

for starters, yes adultery was committed many times. it wasnt that that broke the deal for me it was all the lying and deceit that she did.

after reading up on the laws, 1) even though i earned the bulk of the money she is entitled to 50% and 2) the adultery is not going to count against her since this is a "no-fault" state. so that blows. so i'm definitely calling a lawyer tomorrow and i'm going to find out what i can do.

what's most important to me is earning no less than joint custody of my 5 and 2 year old sons, meaning they are with me 50% of the time and her 50% of the time. i havent decided to fight for custodial status or not. i'll keep everyone posted and thanks again for all the support.


Good Luck...

I have a lot of experience with the divorce thing, and I can't name a single situation where the father truly got a 50-50 split with his kids... You'll most likely need to get her to agree to that up front... If a judge makes the decision, you'll probably end up with a one-night-a-week and every other weekend sort of deal... Judges usually think it's too stressful on the children to do a TRUE 50-50, especially when they're that young...

Try to get her to agree to that up front...

When she talks to an attorney and finds out a true 50-50 negates her claims to child support, I suspect she'll fight you over that... Perhaps if you agree to child support if she gives you the 50-50 she'll be more likely to let you have it...
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Postby HskrPwr13 » Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:46 am

Happened to see this on msn today and thought of you:

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Co ... ehood.aspx
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Postby SwiperNoSwiping » Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:11 pm

Sorry man. This is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I hope it goes as well as it can for you.
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Postby Omaha Red Sox » Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:15 pm

Talk to her and see a therapist about co-parenting. The kids don't need to be jostled around from house to house. If the two of you are capable of staying in their lives as if you were still married, that would be best. Co-parenting. Check it out.
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Postby BGbootha » Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:15 pm

Get a lawyer, and get one yesterday! Also, I know you are nearby to myself, my uncle just finished a really not so fun divorce and he was really really happy with his lawyer that he used, he was also in Spanaway and I can get thier info if you want it.

Also, I am really sorry to hear any news like this. I know it sounds cheesy, but let me know if you need anything. Even if you just need to get out and get drunk or something.
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Postby The Balanced Man » Mon Jun 04, 2007 12:23 pm

Sorry to hear about your situation :-/

I will echo others, and say get an attorney, and be honest and up front about what you want when talking to him.

I would also say, even if you have to give a little more to get out quickly, it's a good strategy to go with. Moving on to the next chapter of your life will be a good thing. ;-D

Finally, If you have any spesific questions, or need help finding an attorney, send me a PM, and I will be happy to help. (I wouldn't just pick a random one out of a phone book, there are referal services available.)
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Postby anderbudd » Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:09 pm

http://www.divorcenet.com/links/bbs/states/washington

I used divorcenet for some info regarding a recent change in my child support arrangements. I hope it will be of some use to you.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Without going into much detail I can say that I went through a divorce with my son involed about 10 years ago. He is now 11 and I have what I would like to think is a very close relationship with him.

His mother and I mediated, which is when both divorcees share the same attorney. It saved us thousands of dollars and helped us to create an understanding of a parenting structure that would be best for our son. Not sure if you and your ex are in a position to do that, but if you can find a good mediator, it certainly can make the situation less painful and less costly.

Good Luck with your situation.
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Postby The Balanced Man » Mon Jun 04, 2007 2:11 pm

anderbudd wrote:
His mother and I mediated, which is when both divorcees share the same attorney. It saved us thousands of dollars and helped us to create an understanding of a parenting structure that would be best for our son. Not sure if you and your ex are in a position to do that, but if you can find a good mediator, it certainly can make the situation less painful and less costly.



As an attorney, I would strongly advise against this. You can still mediate, but definetly have your own representation.
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