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12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

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12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby deerayfan072 » Thu Jul 19, 2007 1:45 pm

12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work:

1. I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

3. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

4. I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.

5. If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

6. I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet....

7. I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Tom Thumb.

8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

10. I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

11. The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

12. The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby Metroid » Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:00 pm

Cute. I like the 48-hour projectile leprosy one. :-b
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby sox 06 » Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:55 pm

deerayfan072 wrote:9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

Those are all pretty funny but I laughed out loud to this one :-b
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby lmcjaho » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:23 pm

I just used:

13. I am on my 5th roll of TP since I got home this morning...


Unfortunately it really is true :-o
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby treat24 » Thu Jul 19, 2007 4:36 pm

:-b :-b ;-D
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby A Fleshner Fantasy » Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:48 pm

deerayfan072 wrote:8. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.


This is my favorite ;-D
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby NittanyLions » Thu Jul 19, 2007 6:48 pm

sox 06 wrote:
deerayfan072 wrote:9. Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

Those are all pretty funny but I laughed out loud to this one :-b


Same here ;-D :-b
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Re: 12 Valid Reasons Not To Come In To Work

Postby houstonherdfan » Thu Jul 19, 2007 10:13 pm

my favorite

2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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