Cheesy attack leads to assault charges
DES MOINES, Iowa - A man has been charged with a cheesy snack attack on his dad, police said. The weapon? A bag of Cheetos. Patrick Hamman, 22, of Des Moines, was arrested on a charge of domestic assault after he threw a bag of Cheetos at his father, Michael Hamman, hitting him in the face Sunday night.
The bag hit his father's glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of his nose, police said.
The police report said "Michael's T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust."
Police said Patrick, who lives with his father, admitted that he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument.
The horror... of being covered... in cheese dust...
And this, kids, is why you should never take Meth. You might waste your Cheetos.
It also bears noting that Cheetos comes with a warning label stating they are "dangerously cheesy." I mean, they're warning us: