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Brian Urlacher

Postby Dolfin99 » Tue Nov 06, 2007 11:56 pm

CHICAGO—Bears team officials announced Tuesday that middle linebacker Brian Urlacher, who has been largely ineffective in Chicago's recent losses, will miss at least the next month with a variety of medical and personal excuses. "Brian has this pain in his back that might be arthritis or a muscle pull, but he keeps saying it really hurts," Chicago head coach Lovie Smith told reporters. "Then I guess he has all this heavy-duty crap going on with his ex-wife, he says the mothers of some of his other kids need straightening out, I don't know, maybe he misses Paris Hilton, but for the next few games, these excuses will keep him from coming in at the ends of plays and hitting the guys [Bears linebacker] Lance Briggs was already tackling." Urlacher himself refused to comment due to what he said was the sudden and tragic death of his grandmother.


:-b
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby JasonSeahorn » Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:10 am

did lovie really say that? lol
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Thanks to deluxe_247 for sig, he is welcome to sail with the Captain too!

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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby FatFoot » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:19 am

:-t

Watch it... someone's actually gonna believe you.
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby skibrett15 » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:23 am

I like that, he's out with... the mixed bag! Newest form of injury in the NFL. Not saying it's not legitimate. Just that I've never heard of a guy sitting out because the sum of the parts of his injuries was less than the whole.
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby PMoneyTKE » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:25 am

FatFoot wrote::-t

Watch it... someone's actually gonna believe you.


EDIT

I stand corrected... :-b
Last edited by PMoneyTKE on Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby FatFoot » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:26 am

Like I said... someone might believe this stuff when they read it.

It's a satire attempt, not an actual update, dude. :) Bears coaches will never talk about players' home lives, etc, and will rarely even discuss injuries.
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby FatFoot » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:26 am

PMoneyTKE wrote:
FatFoot wrote::-t

Watch it... someone's actually gonna believe you.


lol

They'd have to be pretty thick skulled to not realize that's a joke


Heheh scroll up.
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby SniperShot » Wed Nov 07, 2007 11:58 am

Stuff like this is all over the net, you just need to know where to look... We try to keep things real around here usually. That being said I can't resist posting the latest from brushback:

NFL To Continue Season Despite Pats-Colts Game Being Over

NEW YORK--In an emergency meeting called by the league on Monday night, NFL owners voted 18-14 to continue the season despite the fact that the Patriots-Colts match-up is over. The league and owners initially considered closing up shop until February, when they would pit the Colts against the Patriots in Super Bowl 42.

“I think we made the right decision,” said Jaguars owner Wayne Weaver. “There are still a lot of games left to be played and it wouldn’t make much sense for us to cancel all of them now. Hopefully it will go by really fast so we can get to the playoffs and watch the Patriots and Colts again. By the way, let me ask you something: Who would you rather have, Brady or Manning? I think that’s a question the mainstream media is afraid to ask.”

The decision wasn’t an easy one for the owners, who deliberated for six hours before voting to continue the “stupid, lame season.”

“I am not looking forward to watching the rest of these games,” said Jerry Richardson, owner of the Carolina Panthers. “What, exactly, is going to provide the kind of drama that Colts-Patriots provide? Giants-Cowboys? Excuse me while I laugh. Steelers-Ravens? Steelers-Colts? Steelers-Patriots? No, no, no. It’s only a good game if both teams are undefeated. Otherwise it’s just an exercise in mediocrity.”

The Colts-Patriots game has been hyped relentlessly since the start of the season and was dubbed “Super Bowl 41 ½” when both teams came into the week undefeated. Since they're the two best teams in the NFL, it was apparent that even the Super Bowl wouldn’t top the game in overall excitement.

However, the Fox network has already secured advertising for the Super Bowl, so the show must go on.

“There is money to be made here with the advertising revenue and things like that,” said Steelers owner Dan Rooney. “It’s really not even feasible for us to cancel. Not to mention that one of those two teams will probably be in the Super Bowl this year, so at least we’ll get the orgasmic joy of watching either Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. Just gazing upon them is worth the price of admission. And when then other team is on offense, you can just stare at a picture of them.”

On Sunday night, the post Patriots-Colts hangover was beginning to show in the performance of Al Michaels and John Madden during the Sunday Night Football contest between the Cowboys and Giants or Eagles or something.

“And it’s a run by Marion Barber for a first down,” Michaels muttered during the first quarter of the action. “Nice run, but not nearly as nice as Joseph Addai’s at the end of the first half of Super Bowl 42 ½. Remember that, John? And how about that second half! Talk about a nail biter. At first I thought the Colts had it in hand, and then – and there’s a touchdown by the Cowboys – and then the Pats came back. Anyway, this game is a miserable death march. I’d rather be at home watching The Amazing Race. Wouldn’t you, John? John?”

On the field, it was more of the same, as players lamented the fact that they weren’t playing in the most important regular season game in the history of organized sports. Cowboys coach Wade Phillips, interviewed before the second half, dubbed the game “Pats-Colts Jr.”

“This is like Pats-Colts Jr,” Phillips told Suzy Kolber. “I only wish we were as good as either of those two powerhouses. But we’re not, and we just have to accept that. What we can do is go out there in the second half and take it to these guys, put on a good show, and then get the hell out of here so I can go watch highlights.

“By the way, aren’t you going to ask me who I’d rather have in the clutch, Tom Brady or Peyton Manning? No? And you call yourself a reporter?”


;-D
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby skibrett15 » Thu Nov 08, 2007 12:10 pm

FatFoot wrote:
PMoneyTKE wrote:
FatFoot wrote::-t

Watch it... someone's actually gonna believe you.


lol

They'd have to be pretty thick skulled to not realize that's a joke


Heheh scroll up.

The fact that I have never heard of someone being out of a game like that doesn't mean I believed the story. Unless you weren't referring to my post? Anyways, the bash on him is the same as the bash on ray lewis... just mops up tackles people have already finished.
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Re: Brian Urlacher

Postby FatFoot » Thu Nov 08, 2007 3:43 pm

I was just kidding around. :)
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