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Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Dan Lambskin » Fri Aug 29, 2008 9:05 am

bobbing_headz wrote:
Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.


Black humor at its finest ;-D :-b


racist ;-7
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Tyeattolah » Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:57 pm

Whats the definition of macho? :-?




Jogging home from your vasectomy!
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Sat Sep 06, 2008 8:53 pm

Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby bobbing_headz » Sat Sep 06, 2008 10:40 pm

Omaha Red Sox wrote:Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'


:-b
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:36 am

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings',
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that's on the kitchen table.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby scottaa1 » Sun Sep 07, 2008 6:14 pm

knock knock.

who's there?

Owen.

Owen who?

Owen Four.


Is how I'm looking to start my fantasy season. :-t
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Thanks Chaoyi Shih for the sig.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby knapplc » Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:21 pm

I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike , that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Cowboys 4 life » Sun Sep 07, 2008 8:14 pm

scottaa1 wrote:knock knock.

who's there?

Owen.

Owen who?

Owen Four.


Is how I'm looking to start my fantasy season. :-t


Funny joke but that sucks.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Sun Sep 07, 2008 8:42 pm

You don't have a motorcycle Knapp. :-D
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Tyeattolah » Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:21 pm

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