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Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby dream_017 » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:29 pm

treat24 wrote:
MORE SHOCKING!... not even the cafe google realized that it's been posted here before (8 months ago to the day)!!!

edit: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=371940&p=2684228&hilit=Brown+chicken%2C+brown+cow#p2684228

I noticed, I didn't want to make you feel bad that the ORS version was better
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:33 pm

dream_017 wrote:
treat24 wrote:
MORE SHOCKING!... not even the cafe google realized that it's been posted here before (8 months ago to the day)!!!

edit: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=371940&p=2684228&hilit=Brown+chicken%2C+brown+cow#p2684228

I noticed, I didn't want to make you feel bad that the ORS version was better


I knew it! :-D
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Dan Lambskin » Wed Nov 19, 2008 4:36 pm

Omaha Red Sox wrote:I think I've heard that before, but it's still hilarious. :-b


i know i have...i think when i had Windows 3.1, but it's still funny
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:53 pm

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonigh Paddy

Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite, Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"





"Mick phoned, . ........you left your wheelchair at the pub!"



P.S. - I didn't edit it at all, those focks were there. Let me know if that's too close to swearing and we can delete it.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby BigBadBrawler » Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:03 pm

Good stuff ORS... :-b ;-D
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby quack quack » Thu Dec 04, 2008 3:19 pm

:-b that was great
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Tyeattolah » Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:27 pm

new law just passed in Arkansas (or just pick your favorite hilljack state) that following a divorce the couple are still considered cousins
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Fri Dec 05, 2008 5:43 pm

Observations on Lethality

1. The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, British or Australians;

2. The French eat lots of fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, British or Australians;

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, British or Australians;

4. The French (and Italians) drink excessive amounts of red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans, British or Australians.



Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you like, and in any quantities; it’s speaking English that kills you.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Sat Dec 06, 2008 1:52 am

you all might see the punchline coming but here goes:

I guy walks in a bar and says to the bar tender "Give me a pelxico of Patron.

The bartender says what is that

The guy responds

1 shot.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby A Fleshner Fantasy » Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:08 pm

Someone told me this one earlier today, so I figured I'd pass it along to you guys.

Okay so a little boy is talking to his teacher and he tells her that he doesn't want to go home to either of his parents (who are divorced).

"Why don't you want to go back to mommy?" the teacher asked.
"She beats me," replied the boy.
"Why don't you want to go back to daddy then?"
"He beats me more"
"Then who do you want to live with?" the teacher asks, exasperated.
The boy thinks for a short while and says...
















I want to live with the players on the Lions, because they don't beat anybody.
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Thanks to abrunn for the awesome sig
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