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Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby dream_017 » Fri May 22, 2009 12:30 pm

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5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Dan Lambskin » Tue May 26, 2009 10:40 am

dream_017 wrote:6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His


this...one time the wife decided to use it to shave her legs with my razor, i figured no big deal...wrong, worst, most uncomfortable shave ever
i now have 2 razors, one for every-other-day use, and one for when i decide not to shave for a week or more, so today i go looking for the latter and find it in the shower...bye-bye blade, hello new-blade
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:21 pm

There were two nuns

One was Sister Mathematical and the other was Sister Logical.

It is getting dark and they were far from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past 38 minutes and 24.3 seconds? I wonder what he wants.

SL: Its logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh no! At this rate he will reach us in 14 minutes and 3 seconds. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster.

SM: Its not working

SL: Of course it’s not working. The man did the logical thing and started walking faster too.

SM: So what shall we do. At this rate the man will reach us in 3 minutes and 29 seconds.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split up. You go that way and I’ll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

The man decides to follow sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives and the convent and starts worring about what happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives at the convent.

SM: Sister Logical, thank the lord you got here. Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn’t follow both of us, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, Yes, but what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened, I started running as fast as I could.

SM: And

SL: The only logical thing happened he caught up with me.

SM: Oh dear what did you do?

SL: The only logical thing, I lifted up my dress.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing, he pulled down his pants.

SM: Dear god, sister what happened then

SL: Isn’t it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Tyeattolah » Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:00 pm

houstonherdfan wrote:There were two nuns


Nothing like a good nun joke to start the weekend! LOL! :-D
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:33 pm

Tyeattolah wrote:
houstonherdfan wrote:There were two nuns


Nothing like a good nun joke to start the weekend! LOL! :-D


Now admit it you were expecting a much different punchline. LOL

If you were, you need to say 6 hail marys for your bad thoughts
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby fezzik » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:04 am

houstonherdfan wrote:
Tyeattolah wrote:
houstonherdfan wrote:There were two nuns


Nothing like a good nun joke to start the weekend! LOL! :-D


Now admit it you were expecting a much different punchline. LOL

If you were, you need to say 6 hail marys for your bad thoughts


I don't know if he needs to do them if he was expecting a different punchline...only if he was hoping for one. ;-)
I only dog paddle...
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Tyeattolah » Sun Jun 07, 2009 5:41 pm

fezzik wrote:
houstonherdfan wrote:
Tyeattolah wrote:
Nothing like a good nun joke to start the weekend! LOL! :-D


Now admit it you were expecting a much different punchline. LOL

If you were, you need to say 6 hail marys for your bad thoughts


I don't know if he needs to do them if he was expecting a different punchline...only if he was hoping for one. ;-)

HEck, I'm full of bad thoughts...I'll do 6 and another 10 for good measure!
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby fezzik » Sun Jun 07, 2009 10:59 pm

Tyeattolah wrote:HEck, I'm full of bad thoughts...I'll do 6 and another 10 for good measure!


Nuns? Or Hail Marys? O:-) :-D
I only dog paddle...
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Tyeattolah » Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:08 am

That's at least 5 Hail Marys for you!!!
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:51 am

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

Th e girl replied, 'OMG' I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars ...

But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a queer.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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