Fantasy Football Cafe Forum

by **Nfl Fan** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 3:06 pm

I'm not a good golfer, but I can out-drive Tiger Woods.

DOH! :-b

by **knapplc** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 4:43 pm

Tiger's wife finally spoke to the cops.

They ask her how many times she hit Tiger and she said she did not remember...

....just put her down for a 5.

by **Nfl Fan** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:53 pm

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?

Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. :-B

by **houstonherdfan** » Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:12 pm

I knew they were coming got another one

How is Tager Woods and a Baby Seal alike?

Both got clubbed by a norweggen(sp)

How do we know Michelson was driving when the accident happened?

Cause the car ended up in the trees.

by **Metroid** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:33 am

I hear Ping has contacted Mrs. Tiger about a new line of clubs in her name. :-?

The only clubs that can beat a Tiger. :-B

by **Metroid** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:55 am

In the spirit of the Civil War tonight...

A 2nd grade class in Corvallis Oregon(home of the Beavers) is having craft day.

The teacher asks all the little boys and girls,

"Kids who is your favorite football team?"

All the kids yell out "Beavers!"

All but little Jimmy in the back of the room, he yells "Ducks!"

The teacher gets a confused, angry look on her face and asks,

"Jimmy why on earth would you be a Ducks fan?"

Jimmy says,

"Well my mommy is a Ducks fan, and my daddy is a Ducks fan, so that makes me a Ducks fan."

The teacher says with a smirk,

"Well if your mommy is and idiot, and your daddy is a moron. What would that make you?"

Jimmy replies,

"A Beavers fan."

:-b

by **Metroid** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:21 am

Another gem...

One foggy night, an Oregon fan and an Oregon State fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Eugene. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Oregon State fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Duck fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Oregon State fan walks over to the Duck fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Duck fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Duck fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Beaver fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Beaver fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Beaver fan hands it back to the Duck fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Duck fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

by **Metroid** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:31 am

A few more... :-B

Q: What do you get when you cross an Oregon State University fan and a pig?

A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.

-----------------------------

Q: What do you get when you cross an Oregon State University fan and an attractive woman?

A: Nothing, because it's never gonna happen.

-----------------------------

It was reported that Oregon State head football coach Mike Riley will only be dressing twenty players for the Oregon game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.

-----------------------------

Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Oregon State, an Oregon grad, a Florida grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater.

As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom.

Not wanting to be out done, the Florida grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Gators!"

Seeing this, the Oregon grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Ducks!" and pushed the Beavers fan off the side of the mountain.

-----------------------------

A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Oregon State joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Oregon State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Oregon State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Oregon State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

I think I'm done now. :-?