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Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby A Fleshner Fantasy » Thu Dec 03, 2009 1:13 pm

Haha I love 'em Met. I've actually heard some of them in the context of Michigan instead of Oregon and then a different OSU. Great every time ;-D
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Thanks to abrunn for the awesome sig
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby knapplc » Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:58 pm

Heard today that in light of Tiger's "mistakes" he's going to change his name.......... to Cheet-ah.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Nfl Fan » Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:13 pm

knapplc wrote:Heard today that in light of Tiger's "mistakes" he's going to change his name.......... to Cheet-ah.


Cute. :-b
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Yo, Met... thanks for the sig! GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This NEVER gets old and neither does THIS!!
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:20 pm

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,

"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,

"Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber.

"That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over."
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Metroid » Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:22 pm

Nice one Omaha. ;-D

So I just heard this morning that a depressed Oregon State fan attempted to commit suicide after the loss to the Ducks. He tried to leap to his death from his basement window. :-B
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Mon Dec 07, 2009 9:18 am

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance, Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this. 'Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby scottaa1 » Thu Dec 17, 2009 10:08 pm

Worst joke you'll read this month:


A man goes to see his doctor. "Doc, something's wrong. I live next to a park, and every time I drive by it, I start to sing The green, green grass of home. And that's not all. Each time I see a kitten, I sing What's new, pussycat?. Any idea what's wrong?"

Doctor consults a medical journal and says "It appears you're suffering from Tom Jones Syndrome."

"I"ve never heard of that - is it rare?"

"It's not unusual."
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Thanks Chaoyi Shih for the sig.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:56 am

I like it Scott. Cheese is good. :-D
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Cowboys 4 life » Sat Dec 19, 2009 10:01 am

knapplc wrote:Heard today that in light of Tiger's "mistakes" he's going to change his name.......... to Cheet-ah.


His waitress mistress is changing hers at the same time to Cougar
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Wed Dec 23, 2009 4:41 pm

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.

The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself, "Good,
I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question".

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, "Abraham Lincoln".
The teacher said, "That's right Susie. You can go". Johnny was MAD. Susie answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said, 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther King". The teacher said,
"That's right Mary. You can go". Johnny was even MADDER than before. Mary answered first.

The teacher asked, "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy". The teacher said, "That's right Nancy . You can go". Johnny was BOILING MAD. Nancy answered first.

Then the teacher turned her back, and Johnny said, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut".

The teacher asked, "WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny said, "TIGER WOODS! CAN I GO NOW?"
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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