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Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby calieigh » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:19 am

Hi biju

Thats very Fantastics dude.
Nice joke. I am sure every visitor like it.
Thanks.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Nfl Fan » Thu Feb 04, 2010 9:28 am

Why doesn't Obama ever pray?




Because you can't read a teleprompter with your eyes closed! :-b
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Yo, Met... thanks for the sig! GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This NEVER gets old and neither does THIS!!
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Sun Feb 07, 2010 3:50 am

Nfl Fan wrote:Why doesn't Obama ever pray?




Because you can't read a teleprompter with your eyes closed! :-b



damn I fell out of me chair laughing. that hurt hit my chin on the computer table.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:22 am

The Tunnel



Sitting together on a train was Obama, a Cajun from Cut Off, LA, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap..

When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.

The old lady thinks:
Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.

The blonde girl thinks:
Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.

Obama thinks:
The Cajun must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The Cajun thinks:
I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the crap out of Obama again.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:59 pm

Confused

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.
BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

You are now as enlightened as I am.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Sat Feb 13, 2010 2:48 am

NEW BLONDE JOKE

A brunette was standing on the railroad tracks jumping up and down saying 21,21,21,21. a blonde saw that and thought, gee that looks fun. So she got on the tracks and started up too. Jumping and saying 21, 21, 21, 21. along came a train behind them, and just before the train got to them the brunette jumps off the tracks letting the train hit the blonde. after the train passed, the brunette gets back on the tracks jumping up and down saying 22, 22, 22, 22.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Sat Feb 20, 2010 10:00 pm

What is the best result from the Cash for Clunkers program?


















Got rid of all those Obama bumper stickers.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:50 am

New memu item at McDonalds

The Obama Value Meal.

You order whatever you want and the person behind you pays for it.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:54 am

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .



On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.



The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.



He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.



As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,



after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.



The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.



Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled..



Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.



Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.






Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son.



As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and



walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing..



The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.



The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man..



Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.



Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.



He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.



The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs



and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.




Probably wasn't the same elephant.
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Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby sox 06 » Tue Mar 30, 2010 8:51 pm

Logger looking for a job

A logger lost his job and went out to look for a new one. He came across a logging company so he went inside to talk to the owner.

The owner said to the logger, "You need to have experience and be tough for this job."

The logger said, "I was once a logger and I am tough. Once, I cut a tree down and it fell on my arm, pinning it to the ground. So I cut my arm off, pulled it out from underneath the tree and sewed it back onto my body."

The owner said, "Wow, you are tough. You're hired!"

Throwing his arms up in front of him in excitement, the logger said...

"ALRIGHT!"
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