Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke. - Fantasy Football Cafe 2014 Fantasy Football Cafe


Return to General Talk

Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Moderator: Football Moderators

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby knapplc » Fri Apr 18, 2008 11:12 pm

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."
Image
How 'bout them Huskers!
knapplc
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe RankerGolden Eagle EyeCafe MusketeerCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 18961
Joined: 27 Dec 2004
Home Cafe: Football
Location: It's an L, not an I

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Nfl Fan » Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:42 am

LOL... that's a keeper, Knapp. ;-D
Image
Yo, Met... thanks for the sig! GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This NEVER gets old and neither does THIS!!
Nfl Fan
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Mock(ing) Drafter
Posts: 6275
(Past Year: 2)
Joined: 18 May 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: AUTZEN!!!!!!

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby treat24 » Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:44 am

nice one :-)
treat24
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterCafe MusketeerWeb SupporterCafecasterCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 18188
Joined: 6 Oct 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: I'm drinking 'til I forget the 1999 NFC Championship game.

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby houstonherdfan » Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:44 pm

Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
































Because cowboys eat with their hats on.
You could think of government workers like teenagers. You pay them an allowance, but do you get any work out them? They eat the food, put their feet on the furniture and complain loudly whenever they are unhappy.
houstonherdfan
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Sweet 16 SurvivorCafe Blackjack Weekly WinnerLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 5065
(Past Year: 5)
Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Home Cafe: Football
Location: The Center of the Universe

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Metroid » Tue May 06, 2008 3:25 pm

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.

Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of
meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they
begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'.

The little girl screams to her brother "Don't eat it, it's an A-hole.."

:-D
Image
Metroid
Moderator
Moderator

User avatar
ModeratorCafeholicCafe RankerGraphics ExpertEagle Eye
Posts: 22544
Joined: 9 Oct 2005
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Bringing the funk in P-Town!

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby treat24 » Tue May 06, 2008 4:24 pm

haha... nice... i like jokes
treat24
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Fantasy ExpertCafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle EyeCafe SpotterCafe MusketeerWeb SupporterCafecasterCafe Blackjack Weekly Winner
Posts: 18188
Joined: 6 Oct 2003
Home Cafe: Football
Location: I'm drinking 'til I forget the 1999 NFC Championship game.

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Omaha Red Sox » Wed May 07, 2008 7:44 am

Little Johnnie Joke

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, 'What a beautiful baby.'
The mother said, 'Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.
Johnnie said, 'He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?'

'Yes', the mother replied, 'we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.'

'That's great', said Little Johnnie,'coz he'd be screwed if he needed glasses'.
Omaha Red Sox
Hall of Fame Hero
Hall of Fame Hero

User avatar
Cafe Ranker
Posts: 12290
Joined: 29 Jun 2005
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Probably over there

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Metroid » Wed May 07, 2008 7:45 am

nice. :-b
Image
Metroid
Moderator
Moderator

User avatar
ModeratorCafeholicCafe RankerGraphics ExpertEagle Eye
Posts: 22544
Joined: 9 Oct 2005
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Bringing the funk in P-Town!

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby joelamosobadiah » Wed May 07, 2008 12:36 pm

Awesome. :-b :-b :-b
Image
joelamosobadiah
Mod in Retirement
Mod in Retirement

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe RankerGraphics ExpertMock(ing) DrafterGolden Eagle EyePick 3 Weekly WinnerMatchup Meltdown SurvivorCafe Blackjack Weekly WinnerLucky Ladders Weekly Winner
Posts: 16386
Joined: 4 Sep 2006
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Gun control is hitting what you aim at.

Re: Need a joke...take a joke. Got a joke...leave a joke.

Postby Venom » Wed May 21, 2008 10:28 pm

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like
to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist toget some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there
is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack,
or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being
his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. 'Oh, I'm so
excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!' The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still
no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and
whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'


The boy turns, and whispers back, 'And I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'
Venom
Head Coach
Head Coach

User avatar
Cafe WriterCafe RankerMock(ing) DrafterEagle Eye
Posts: 1845
(Past Year: 47)
Joined: 16 Sep 2007
Home Cafe: Football
Location: Cleveland, OH-IO

PreviousNext

Return to General Talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests

Forums Articles & Tips Start & Sit Sleepers Rankings Leagues


Get Ready...
The 2014 NFL season kicks off in 15:58 hours
(and 45 days)
2014 NFL Schedule


  • Fantasy Football
  • Article Submissions
  • Privacy Statement
  • Site Survey 
  • Contact