Fantasy Football Cafe Forum

by **Kilroy** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:06 am

"Santa?" treat the Head Elf said, entering the Fat Man's Office.

"Now what is it?", Santa grumbled as he laid a fat line of cocaine out on the desk. "Can't you see I'm eating breakfast?" He produced a short silver straw from his pocket and the white powder quickly disappeared up his famously red nose. "HO-HO-HOLEE S**T THAT'S GOOD STUFF!" he roared.

"Sir, we're down two more elves." treat answered.

"Oh, what the f**k happened now?" Santa asked disgustedly.

"Well Sir" the elf began, "it appears whodey might have had some insight into who the spies were, so while he was sleeping they ambushed him and shoved AquaDots up his vagina until the GHB in them caused him to lapse into a coma."

"No big loss." Santa mumbled. "He was a douchebag."

"Also sir", treat continued, "Fleshner's severed head was found near the Reindeer Barn with this note stapled to it". He handed Santa a bloodstained piece of paper.

Dear Fat F**k,

I told you it wasn't my fault that your slut wife liked melting Frosty's icicle. All I did was hold the camcorder and post the video on the Internet. But Noooooooo, you decided to cast me out into the cold, dark, night. Well, now you obese p***k, I'm gonna cast your elves out into the cold..one at a time...starting with this one.

Eat S**t,
Manson

"Well",Santa said, "he's right on one account. My wife is a slut. Did the paternity test on Santa Jr. come back?" He asked.

"Yes Sir" treat replied. "You were right. You're not the father. He's Travis Henry's."

"I knew there was a reason why that little b*****d kept getting in my stash." Santa said. "C'mon treat. Let's go to work."

whodey#9 (Elf) killed by Spies
A Fleshner Fantasy (Elf) killed by Manson

Have at it. ;-D

by **whodey#9** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:18 am

Kilroy1872 wrote:[i]"

"Well Sir" the elf began, "it appears whodey might have had some insight into who the spies were, so while he was sleeping they ambushed him and shoved AquaDots up his vagina until the GHB in them caused him to lapse into a coma."

"No big loss." Santa mumbled. "He was a douchebag."

had 3 or 4 posts and still got taken out...... I hate AquaDots :-o

vote: Santa }:-)

Jimboozie · by **Jimboozie** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:29 am

They killed my date! You bastards! :-C

Freakin' Travis Henry.

by **Leber** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:30 am

whodey#9 wrote:
Kilroy1872 wrote:[i]"

"Well Sir" the elf began, "it appears whodey might have had some insight into who the spies were, so while he was sleeping they ambushed him and shoved AquaDots up his vagina until the GHB in them caused him to lapse into a coma."

"No big loss." Santa mumbled. "He was a douchebag."

had 3 or 4 posts and still got taken out...... I hate AquaDots

vote: Santa

People in Coma's can't post. Now go back to sleep.

by **WickedSmaat** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:30 am

vote: eagles

because I can.

Jimboozie · by **Jimboozie** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:32 am

9 votes? That's way too many...

How about 2!

Sounds good...

vote = eagles.

OK, lets get the day 3 thread up.

by **Kilroy** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:39 am

whodey#9 wrote:
Kilroy1872 wrote:
"Well Sir" the elf began, "it appears whodey might have had some insight into who the spies were, so while he was sleeping they ambushed him and shoved AquaDots up his vagina until the GHB in them caused him to lapse into a coma."

"No big loss." Santa mumbled. "He was a douchebag."

had 3 or 4 posts and still got taken out...... I hate AquaDots

vote: Santa

Santa walked into the room in the Elf Infirmary where whodey the Elf lay comatose. Looking behind him, he quietly closed and locked the door.

"Now there whodey" Santa whispered as undid his large black belt. "How's about a teabag for the douchebag".

}:-)

yerself Buddy.

:-D

Jimboozie · by **Jimboozie** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:44 am

Kilroy1872 wrote:Santa walked into the room in the Elf Infirmary where whodey the Elf lay comatose. Looking behind him, he quietly closed and locked the door.

"Now there whodey" Santa whispered as undid his large black belt. "How's about a teabag for the douchebag".

yerself Buddy.

vote = mounting Whodey's head into the elves urinals

by **RiffRaff** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:14 pm

Jimboozie wrote:
Kilroy1872 wrote:Santa walked into the room in the Elf Infirmary where whodey the Elf lay comatose. Looking behind him, he quietly closed and locked the door.

"Now there whodey" Santa whispered as undid his large black belt. "How's about a teabag for the douchebag".

yerself Buddy.

vote = mounting Whodey's head into the elves urinals

I prefer this urinal, thanks anyway.

by **SwiperNoSwiping** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:19 pm

Making my post for what will likely be most the day...

Daily activities today consist of working on start/sit, decorating some for Christmas, and likely taking the rats to go see Santa. With the lines to see Santa pretty long, I expect to be back by the 12th. :-b