Alpha males have existed in our society since before the dawn of ninjas. They don't take crap from anyone, have women constantly falling at their zippers, drum to their own double bass pedal beat, and are basically the Jedi masters of newb pwnage.
So, you want to become more like this guy?
Or perhaps him.
Never fear, Boozie is here with the guidelines (free of charge) that will cleanse you of your previous wussified and meaningless life.
Here they are:
1. Impregnate every woman in a small Latvian village and kill all the children.
2. Throw away your alarm clocks. Alpha males don't need alarm clocks, the world wakes up to their manliness. Correction--alpha males don't need to sleep, rest is for pansies.
3. Remove all items from your diet that do not consist of: meat, cheese, French fries, beer, virgins, and football.
4. Replace the phrase "thank you" from your vocabulary with "more fries"!
5. If you ever find yourself thinking "Wow, that woman makes a valid argument", kill yourself right now.
6. Watch Married...With Children marathons...while only wearing slippers made from endangered elephants.
7. True alpha males never read how to lists.
8. Whenever a woman asks "How's it going?" know that she really means "I want to have sex with you" and act accordingly.
9. Whenever a man ask "How's it going?" deliver him a swift kick to the nad region.
10. Light up your morning smoke from the flames of burning cats.
11. Exercise no less than seven times a day; and by exercising, I mean working out your man muscle.
12. Destroy any music you own that isn't whiplash inducing (Pantera, heavy rock).
13. At work, only acknowledge your boss with any of these following phrases: "I was unavoidably detained." or "Looks like you'll be putting in a lot of overtime today--I'll tell your wife you said hi when I see her tonight."
Last edited by Jimboozie on Fri Mar 07, 2008 1:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.