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2008 Darwin Awards

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2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Metroid » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:12 pm

I got this in an email today, some are kinda funny and some are...well...it's the Darwin Awards. Enjoy. :-b
Here are the 2008 Darwin awards.

Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to
retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who 'totally zoned when he ran,'
accidentally, jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection
from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom! When
it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach
used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach
him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free
him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a
bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into
the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth
and pull the trigger.

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing
at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up!, and
fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and
fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics Crime
scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent
autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.Ballistics identified
rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONORABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at
2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to
see what would happen.Apparently they failed to notice the window was
closed.

RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them
said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the
middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a bungee
rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out
that a coil of lineman's cable, lay near by. They secured one end around
Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40
feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He
miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two
nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS...
Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated
elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries,
figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say
ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the
elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves.. Shite happens'

I guess the runner up should really be disqualified since he didn't bite the dust...still an idiot.
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Nfl Fan » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:17 pm

"Darwin Awards"
That cracks me up! Natural selection at its finest. :-B
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Yo, Met... thanks for the sig! GO DUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This NEVER gets old and neither does THIS!!
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Canucks_Fantasy » Tue Apr 15, 2008 8:22 pm

The winner wasn't so much stupidity, as just "wow, he is unlucky"

They are all pretty funny. :-b
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby joelamosobadiah » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:24 pm

These have been having the year changed off and on since 06 I think. :-b
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby A Fleshner Fantasy » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:38 pm

Yeah, definitely the same awards as last year.
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Thanks to abrunn for the awesome sig
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Canucks_Fantasy » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:44 pm

There are annual Darwin Awards.

The 2008s get released at the end of 2008.

It seems I've been had.

Damn you Metroid!
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Canucks_Fantasy » Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:45 pm

Here is a nominee for the 2008 award.

Chemistry Went To Her Head
2008 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin





(2 February 2008, Bulgaria) It was a cold but sunny February afternoon. Lidia, a biology teacher from Sofia, was driving home from a memorial service accompanied by her husband and a friend. Suddenly the vehicle stopped. Bystanders saw all three occupants dash from the car to a nearby manhole, and start pouring down liquids and powders from various bottles and jars.
Apparently, Lidia had been performing chemistry experiments in her free time, and had some leftover noxious chemicals. It is still not entirely clear what the chemicals were, but two of the bottles were labelled diethyl ether and methanol, both highly flammable substances. The former is also used as a sedative, so one explanation for their actions is that they felt dizzy from the ether vapors, and thought it was a good idea to pour them in the sewer.

As it turns out, a good idea it definitely was not. The cocktail of flammable substances in the enclosed space of the sewer caused an explosion so powerful that it launched the manhole cover into the air, decapitating the (briefly) surprised Lidia. Left without a head on her shoulders, she decided it was time to kick the bucket.

The other two people were not left unharmed, but were alive. They were taken to the hospital with burns on their faces. It appears unlikely that they will regain their eyesight, but hopefully are able to speak well enough to tell their children that tossing random chemicals down the drain is not as wise as it might at first appear.
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Cowboys 4 life » Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:46 pm

Same as last year.

This one is my fav

Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing
at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up!, and
fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk
promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and
fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics Crime
scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent
autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds.Ballistics identified
rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Canucks_Fantasy » Tue Apr 15, 2008 11:48 pm

If anyone wants to see the rest of the 2008 nominees they are at the following website:

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2008.html
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Re: 2008 Darwin Awards

Postby Metroid » Wed Apr 16, 2008 9:22 am

Bah...I'm not up on current events. :-B
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