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UPS ground crew has a sense of humor

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UPS ground crew has a sense of humor

Postby m16a » Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:29 am

Found this on another forum I frequent. I thought it was hilarious

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics corrects the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


By the way,UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
*
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
*
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
*
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
*
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
*
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
*
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
*
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
*
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
*
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
*
P:Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
*
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
*
And the best one for last
*
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Image
Props to Deluxe for the sig
There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.
- Goethe
m16a
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Re: UPS ground crew has a sense of humor

Postby treat24 » Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:05 pm

I have seen this many times with many different companies. I'm pretty sure this has been posted at the cafe before. I've seen it too many times to count... still pretty funny though. I've never seen it as UPS before though.
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Re: UPS ground crew has a sense of humor

Postby Dan Lambskin » Tue Jul 08, 2008 12:07 pm

is that why they delivered my new video card to the neighbor 6 houses down who's address is like 3 numbers off
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Re: UPS ground crew has a sense of humor

Postby aaawall91 » Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:12 pm

probably not
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Re: UPS ground crew has a sense of humor

Postby ChyBoy » Tue Jul 08, 2008 7:57 pm

Read it for the first time. Pretty funny.

I used to work for a small plane repair shop, that done repairs for FedEx planes and they are pretty boring.
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