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assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby moonhead » Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:24 am

Assault With An 8-Inch Sausage
Meat and seasonings weapons of choice for hapless California burglar

SEPTEMBER 8--Meet Antonio Vasquez. Wielding an eight-inch sausage, the California man, 21, allegedly broke into a Fresno home Saturday morning, stole $900, and assaulted one resident with the pork weapon and tossed seasoning into another victim's face. The bizarre crime is detailed in a Fresno County Sheriff's Department report, the funniest document you'll read this month. According to investigators, Vasquez, pictured in the mug shot below, robbed the home of a group of farmworkers, two of whom were assaulted during the 8 AM confrontation. Santiago Cabrera told deputies that he was sleeping on the home's front porch when he "felt something hit him in the face," the report notes. Struggling to awake, Cabrera found "an unknown male bent over him. The male continued to strike him in the face and head area with a sausage." Santiago, deputies reported, "said the sausage was about 8" long." Another resident, Cesar Macias, recalled that he was sleeping on a futon in the family room when the intruder threw Pappy's seasoning in his face...


oh holy hell. :-b continued here
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby Metroid » Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:30 am

That is so awesome! :-b
Before fleeing the residence, Vasquez, for some reason, removed his shorts, which contained his driver's license, credit cards, school IDs, and cell phone.

Nice. :-b :-b
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby knapplc » Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:32 am

I saw this on Yahoo. Weird, weird story.


EDIT - how Freudian do you think this whole situation is? I haven't read the whole article, but there's definitely some grist for Freud's mill here.
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby Dan Lambskin » Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:42 am

pork weapon :-b
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby fezzik » Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:01 pm

That's my home town for you... :-D

I like how the victims dog ate the pork weapon before police could arrive... :-b

I heard about this on a local radio station...the DJ was trying to get into contact with the person who got spices rubbed on him...just to hear a first-hand account of the story. :-b
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby Madison » Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:04 pm

I thought for sure this would be fake. :-?

What a crazy story.... :*)
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby RiffRaff » Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:49 pm

fezzik wrote:the DJ was trying to get into contact with the person who got spices rubbed on him...:-b


what kind of rub was it? I'm doing some research. }:-)
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby scottaa1 » Tue Sep 09, 2008 4:51 pm

RiffRaff wrote:
what kind of rub was it? I'm doing some research. }:-)


cumin
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby RiffRaff » Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:14 pm

scottaa1 wrote:
RiffRaff wrote:
what kind of rub was it? I'm doing some research. }:-)


cumin

cumin sausage, never had it under my chin :-L ;-7
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Re: assault with an 8 inch sausage.

Postby fezzik » Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:44 pm

RiffRaff wrote:
fezzik wrote:the DJ was trying to get into contact with the person who got spices rubbed on him...:-b


what kind of rub was it? I'm doing some research. }:-)


It was Pappy's...a local brand that's pretty good. Large grocery stores here have various roasts pre-rubbed with it...something we call tri-tip, but from living elsewhere in the country that cut of meat seems to be a California thing.

http://pappyschoice.com/products.html

I don't know how it compliments human flesh...let us know what you find out from your...research. :-L ;-7
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