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Running Down the Dream

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Running Down the Dream

Postby knapplc » Mon Oct 06, 2008 8:19 am

OK, so you know that my life is a mixture of awesomeness, absurdity and frustration, right? So this little episode I had last July exemplifies my life. It’s my life in a nutshell, and here goes…

So it’s 9:30am and I’m feeling all coffee-deficient. It’s time for the AM Starbucks run. With my new-found zeal for walking I’m going like a bat out of hell, if that bat had Super Dooper Turbo engines strapped to its wings. I’m humming. Zoom up the first block, zoom down the second block, catch the light at O Street on the fly, then it’s zip-zip down 13th then P to Starbucks. I’ve schvitzed a little, but I’m not really sweating, because I’ve been walking lately and I’m in better shape than usual. So I get there but I’m a smidge winded, cause, you know, I’m busting it, right? I’ve got the power but not unlimited energy. I’m human.

So I get there and there’s nobody in line, and I get my refill (they don’t charge me for the second cup anymore) and I toss in a bit of cream and then it’s out the back door, on the way to the office. I’m flying, and life is good.

Then I see her.

SCHWINGGGGG!!!! Sun dress, sensible shoes, tall, slender, long brown hair. The works. Walking about a block ahead of me, heading away from me, but in the direction I'm going.

There’s something magical about seeing that near-perfect, beautiful girl, that just makes the sun shine brighter. It’s been a while, and I’m intrigued. So I step it up a notch, kick in the afterburners a bit, and go to catch up. I have the eyes of an eagle but it’s so much easier to appreciate a great work of art from 15 feet than 50. You know.

So she gets to O Street and I’m about three quarters of the block behind, and the light is green for her, but as she's halfway across the street it changes to yellow.

Damn. I’ve missed the light.

Luck, though! She goes straight down 12th, going my way. Bonus!

I wait out traffic, but by this time she’s at N Street, nearly a block away. AAAGHHHH!! DAMN! I can’t believe my luck! I see one girl worth seeing in the last week - and she’s getting away!!! BAH!

But wait – she crosses N Street, then heads east down N! That’s my way! Go, Go, Gadget legs! I’m humming, I’m buzzing, I’m flying down the street. It’s going to be OK!

Now is a good time to tell you what I’m wearing on my feet. Lately I’ve decided it was just too damned hot in my building, and since all the women were wearing open-toed shoes, on my “off” days (no appts) I’ve been wearing black sandals to work. They’re comfy, they look decent, and I keep cool in the summer heat.

Only problem is, they’re not “fast” shoes. They’re comfortable for a slow enough clip, but these are not track shoes, not even close. And I’ve noticed that if I really hoof it, and I’ve been walking at night, and I’m wearing these things, sometimes I get shin splints.

So here I am, motivated to haul ass down the street to appreciate the loveliness of this beautiful woman, wearing the wrong shoes, feeling the effects of my recent walking binges. I begin to realize about halfway between O and N streets that something is not quite right. My shins are locking up. Cramps! GAAAHHHH!!!! Are you kidding me!?!?!???? Not now!!!!

I carry on. Some things are more important than pain. I round the corner of the building at 12th & N, and there she is, halfway between 12th & 13th. She’s fit, as I can plainly see by the lovely, lovely shape of her calves, but she’s not racing like me, she’s walking at a normal pace. I can catch up.

I wait out a turning car at 12th & N, then beat feet across the street. I’m coming on like a Japanese bullet train, like the inevitable tide rolling across the shores, and I’m going to catch her at the next light.

But Lady Luck is fickle, my friend. She turns south on 13th, and that’s not the way I usually go. OK, so I change my route. No biggie, but what if she goes into the bank, or some shop? I could get screwed out of this yet. I round the corner, in a small amount of pain but still moving right along, and… there she is! She’s still going down the sidewalk, but just as I round the corner, she jaywalks across the street. Ooooh, she’s a saucy little minx, this scofflaw! Brazenly breaking the law of the land in broad daylight, cutting across the street in the middle of the block!

Now, here’s where I have to play it cool. I have my shades on, I’m not openly ogling her or anything, and I’m looking out the corner of my eye so as not to appear to be a horrible ogre violating this girl. I’m not trying to snare her and entice her into wild monkey sex, I’m just trying to drink in the loveliness that is a beautiful girl. Nothing nefarious, no nasty intentions, just appreciation.

So with this in mind, I can’t very well cut across the block right after her, you see? I have to be casual, and continue down the west side of 13th, about a third of a block behind her, and do my best to cut that lead down. Which I do.

But now those hints of shin splints are becoming more than hints. They’re becoming very obvious signs of ouchy. I’m really beginning to get into serious crampage, and it REALLY sucks. But like I said, some things are more important than pain. This is certainly one of them.

She gets to the light at 13th & M, goes south across the street, then turns… EAST! HOORAY!!! She’s going my way, all I have to do is catch up! I get to the light catty-corner from her as she’s getting across the street, and here’s where it begins to get absurd. The light just turns red for me, so I can’t cross to the south. I need to cross 13th to the east, but FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF LINCOLN, there’s a boatload of traffic coming down 13th street. It’s like a freaking parade. It’s not a boatload, it’s an actual, factual BUTTLOAD of cars! I am being freaking BLOCKED!

So I wait. Impatiently. I’m looking at my girl, but... She. Is. Getting. AWAY!!!

FINALLY traffic clears. Freaking TRAFFIC! In Lincoln!

I get cracking across the street, and once again I’m on the opposite side of the street, and I’m being "not obvious" while trying to break the land speed record for walking, but now the pegs are not cooperating at all. I’ve cut her lead from about two thirds of a block to one third without actually sprinting up to her, still within the bounds of normal behavior so I'm not spooking her, but I have not closed that final gap. She goes straight across 14th, then turns south in front of my building. It’s like kismet! I can’t believe she’s going the same way as me! If I could just catch up!

But here’s the deal. I’ve been walking a couple of miles about every other night all summer, and I’ve been getting my coffee in the AM and trucking down the road while doing it, so here I am with worn out legs, wearing the wrong shoes, trying to surreptitiously catch up with this woman who is clearly not running but who is in decent shape and making great time, and now my freaking legs just about give out. I’m in full-blown crampage, and I’m hurting. I go from a pretty brisk walk to barely moving at all in the space of about 100 yards. I’m doing this stiff-legged lurch now, and I’m probably looking pretty silly, all cool totally gone, but with my eye on the prize still ahead I persevere.

And here’s where it all comes together. She turns into my building. My building. It’s Go Time. I can’t have had better luck, aside from the shin splints, because she’s going from Starbucks-ish area to the same building in which I spend my days, and how often does that happen? Let me tell you – never.

I get into the building with hopes high, because unless she’s going to the ground floor she’s going to take the elevators, and she’s going to have to wait in that stupid lobby for those stupid elevators, and I’ve got her. The pain was worth it. About 15 seconds after she gets in the building, I get to the doors. I’m almost crawling now, but I’m still upright, shuffling along. I’ve won.

I get to the second set of doors, open them, and there she is, center of the elevator bank, in all her glory. I’ve got her.



BING.



That “bing” you just heard wasn’t the “bing” of my win. It wasn’t the “bing” of success, or happiness, or reward for long suffering. It was the “bing” of the elevator door.

The elevator door opening.

Un. Freaking. Believable.

In the history of my building, those doors have opened immediately for no man, like just about NEVER, ever, ever. For a building with seven floors and six elevators, you NEVER EVER FREAKING EVER push the button and have a car waiting for you right then and there. You ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wait… and wait… and wait…

But this day, after all my trials and tribulations, they open just as the world’s loveliest woman whom I’ve never seen before and likely will never see again, walks up. It’s like a Disney movie where all the little woodland creatures walk along beside the Princess, and as she walks they lay flowers before her feet, or they build a bridge of sticks over the chasm as she walks across oblivious, singing her little Disney song. Only this time it’s not Disney but real life, and it’s not a Princess but a lovely girl, and it’s not fluffy little bunnies and squirrels and birds but the world’s most evil, sadistic, hateful elevators, ever, making life easy for her.

She walks in, she pushes the button, and the doors close, just as I get there. I have enough time to get a good glimpse of her arm, nothing more, within proper visual range.

The doors shut, the elevator rises, and there I stand, thwarted.

Crap.






At least the coffee was good.
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby joelamosobadiah » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:23 am

No scouring the other floors for her? No watching the light above the elevator to see which floor she exited on? No pushing that elevator button again and timing how long it takes to get back to you to see what floor it came from? Weak man, what a wuss. :-b
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby knapplc » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:41 am

joelamosobadiah wrote:No scouring the other floors for her? No watching the light above the elevator to see which floor she exited on? No pushing that elevator button again and timing how long it takes to get back to you to see what floor it came from? Weak man, what a wuss. :-b

It would be nearly impossible to find her - each floor is broken up into different access-only areas, and the building is a block square.

The elevator she was on stopped at several floors, so determining which one she got out on would just be guesswork.

This all happened in July, and I haven't seen her since. It's very likely that she was just visiting someone, or that she was a runner from one of the local law firms, or that she was a citizen with business in one of the agencies. I'll likely never see her again. :,-(
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby joelamosobadiah » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:46 am

knapplc wrote:
joelamosobadiah wrote:No scouring the other floors for her? No watching the light above the elevator to see which floor she exited on? No pushing that elevator button again and timing how long it takes to get back to you to see what floor it came from? Weak man, what a wuss. :-b

It would be nearly impossible to find her - each floor is broken up into different access-only areas, and the building is a block square.

The elevator she was on stopped at several floors, so determining which one she got out on would just be guesswork.

This all happened in July, and I haven't seen her since. It's very likely that she was just visiting someone, or that she was a runner from one of the local law firms, or that she was a citizen with business in one of the agencies. I'll likely never see her again. :,-(


Well, only other thing I can say is what comes in must come out. So she was sure to exit at some point. Just sip the coffee and wait.... :-b

Sorry to make light of your agonizing experience.
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby knapplc » Mon Oct 06, 2008 9:48 am

What if she worked there, and was going to be there all day? What if she left by a different door than the one I was "casing out?" What if she took the stairs and not the elevators? I don't have all day to sit around waiting for this girl. :-b
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby Guru13 » Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:10 am

knapplc wrote:She’s still going down the sidewalk, but just as I round the corner, she jaywalks across the street. Ooooh, she’s a saucy little minx, this scofflaw! Brazenly breaking the law of the land in broad daylight, cutting across the street in the middle of the block!

Now, here’s where I have to play it cool. I have my shades on, I’m not openly ogling her or anything, and I’m looking out the corner of my eye so as not to appear to be a horrible ogre violating this girl. I’m not trying to snare her and entice her into wild monkey sex, I’m just trying to drink in the loveliness that is a beautiful girl. Nothing nefarious, no nasty intentions, just appreciation.

I had some serious trouble breathing while reading that part. :-b

sorry dude, atleast you had an interesting walk.
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby joelamosobadiah » Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:37 am

knapplc wrote:What if she worked there, and was going to be there all day? What if she left by a different door than the one I was "casing out?" What if she took the stairs and not the elevators? I don't have all day to sit around waiting for this girl. :-b


I underestimated your dedication to this cause. :-/
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby scottaa1 » Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:38 am

For anyone who might want the Readers Digest version:

"I followed a hot girl. She got on an elevator."
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby knapplc » Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:48 am

scottaa1 wrote:For anyone who might want the Readers Digest version:

"I followed a hot girl. She got on an elevator."

So now I'm getting grief for trying to entertain you people? Tough room. ;-7
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Re: Running Down the Dream

Postby dream_017 » Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:52 am

Moral of the story: Never wear sandals to work
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