Why do you need a system to define head to head? You can keep track of that on the side if you find it fun. There is - IMO - no way a team with the 2nd to last points should even get a sniff at playoffs. Shouldn't even spell it if they get spotted the P, L , A. Y, O, and the S.
In H2H side bets this year I have won 2 cigars, $100, a case of beer, and a bottle of vodka. And I don't have to worry about some 9th place team getting in the playoffs. As it stands, I look to end the season in 2nd place... which actually to me stinks worse than finishing 9th...... because at least in our league, that means I will draft 9th in the first 5 rounds next year, while the guy who finishes 9, will draft 2nd for those rounds next year.
And if people don't like side bets, they just don't make any. OK, I know that I have more than had my say. Thanks for listening.