Cafe Home
Fantasy Baseball
Fantasy Basketball
Fantasy Hockey
by Slingblade » Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:21 pm Funny article I found
Contributed By: Ryan Houston
I was sitting here thinking about something to write about when I heard my stomach grumble. You know, that sound it makes when you've deprived yourself of food for hours while doing updates to your fantasy football website? Anyway, I get up and go to the pantry to pull out something for lunch. Sitting right there was a can of "Slow Roasted Beef with Mushrooms" Campbell's Chunky Soup. As I reached to grab it, I thought to myself, damn...will it curse my fantasy teams chances this week? I quickly put it back on the shelf and decided to eat a different brand of soup that doesn't "eat like a meal".
I washed my hands immediately. Yes, I'm very superstitious. Didn't want any of that curse remaining on my fingers.
I already feel as if I've lost this week and my teams haven't even played yet...oh the horror of touching the can!
For months now the curse has been discussed through various media outlets. First we had the Sports Illustrated jinx and now, after the McNabb injury, the Chunky Soup curse is taking center stage. We must only look at the premises of this curse to fortify the conclusion. Let's take a look if this curse is authentic or something that should be found on the urban legend page.
Reggie White - Ultimately the soup caused him to have a bad back and led to his retirement.
Terrell Davis - The soup prematurely ended his career and he is now out of the league while contemplating a future return. Many experts say his return is extremely unlikely.
Neil Smith - Soup caused Smith to retire early due to a bad knee.
Kurt Warner - Wins Superbowl...eats soup...has concussion...looses Superbowl....starts 0-5....breaks finger.
Jerome Betts - Has he been healthy for a 16 game season since eating the soup? He has missed several games and doesn't appear to be running with the authority he did before opening the can for the first time.
Michael Strahan - A year after eating the soup, Strahan has returned to mediocrity and is not nearly as formidable a foe as he was a year ago.
Donovan McNabb - Breaks his ankle and the Eagles are no longer a lock to win the NFC East, let alone the NFC!
Brian Urlacher - Hasn't suffered an injury yet...but his team is 2-7 and is getting worse.
Some have argued that the curse is caused by having these players pose in front the camera with someone other than their real mothers. Yes, the wonderful ladies in the commercials are paid actresses and are not their actual mothers. Something has to be said about calling another woman "Mom" on national television. Could that be the key to the curse?
As reported by New York Post staffer Steve Serby, "There is no Chunky Curse," Michael Strahan was saying emphatically yesterday on his 31st birthday. "The only curse you make is the curse you make on yourself."
Other athletes have vehemently denied that the soup has anything to do with their lack of production or their injuries. However, the facts don't lie. Michael Strahan and others might not believe it, but certainly something is causing this strange phenomena. "It's not a Chunky Curse; it's just meant to be from The Man Upstairs." Strahan added.
I know this next statement will strike fear in the hearts of millions of Bears fans, but if Urlacher were to go down, the curse would become a full-fledged conspiracy!
By the way, on the side of every can of soup is a label that states: Satisfaction guranteed. If you have any questions or comments, please call "a customer service number". Please have can code and date information from can end available." So I said "What the heck" and gave them a call! I asked the nice lady (or operator if you prefer but I was trying to be PC about this) if she was aware of the Chunky Soup curse and she told me "No Comment". I was shocked! Even the Insiders don't want to talk about it. I'm spooked now!
Let's just hope Michael Vick doesn't get in contact with Campbell's group anytime soon.
